Help Me Be Me

If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move through the chatter that is your anxiety or perhaps at times negative chatter and self-analysis. We have to learn how to become a consistent friend to ourselves and that is how we start to really like who we are, regardless of the external. Like meeting a new friend, this can start at any time in your life – it just requires a commitment.   This episode is also about when we cannot get to a particular behavior change – seeing that there is a block behind that: a blindness to a lie we are believing. These “feelings stones” cr

Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partner or something else, this is a reminder that we can only take on as much as we can handle and sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and take some of the pressure off of ourselves so we can return to the situation from a more resourced position. When we get into that energy of forcing solutions, that’s a little flag reminding us we need to come home to our breathing and be extra kind and gentle with ourselves. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time we wish to solve it in and some problems are n

Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo 192  Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701 193 Getting in the energy path of change https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701 201 Working with the energy of scarcity – choosing fulfilment https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000619419445 185 Getting out of your own way https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000587178584 200 Getting back into the energy of limitlessness https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000617776780 Smile! And visit YayWithMe.com for more of my work Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  This episode is all tools for stepping back from the process of negative rumination and choosing a different path: awareness, neutrality and openness. A lot of what we live through is created in our mind, and thoughts catalyze more similar thoughts. When it comes to negative rumination, a lot of these thought sequences are based in old, strong emotional imprints from long ago that are triggered in the present. When we get into a negative thought loop, a sequence of feelings is created by an initial thought. For example, “I am sad because I am alone tonight, and this person didn’t call me back.” Which catalyzes, “Where am I in my life?” Which catalyzes, “Now I feel emotionally low” which triggers the brain’s desire to double down on this feeling and wallow in this rapidly increasing feeling of sadness. This catalyzes the next thought and the next one and the next one after that. I am doing something super simple in this episode: I am writing directions for how to dismantle these kinds of thought sequences.

This is a GREAT podcast for moms that I have learned a lot from. It’s called “3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms” – it’s hosted by Rachel Nielson, a mom who seeks out the advice professionals for actionable advice around child-rearing. Rachel is a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting. I’m a mom so I am always looking for podcasts that help with child-rearing. In this excerpt from episode 401 of 3 in 30, Rachel interviews board certified integrative family physician, activist, and TEDx speaker Dr. Setti[1]  about accessing radical gratitude, especially in times of difficulty. In this takeaway you will hear one suggestion for how we can use gratitude to turn us toward our life instead of away. If you want to listen to the entire thing, here’s the full length episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/401-how-radical-gratitude-can-change-your-life-dr-tanmeet/id1296627876?i=1000676478660 And to follow Rachel’s show you can check out

This is an episode aimed at being connected to yourself in a loving way and coming from compassion with others in your life. It’s an invitation to connect to yourself and others more deeply. Grace is defined as courteous goodwill or (in religious terms) the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. I am using this term “grace” to refer to a resting state of love and receptivity. This is how we can be of service to others and also how we expand our quality of life. The greatest path to a feeling of self-satisfaction is to do something that you are proud of, which comes about pretty often when you live from a state of grace as you move through the world. To be honest, I am very embarrassed by this episode but I 100% mean it. It’s SUPER gooey and touchy-feely, but it’s something I need to hear and therefore, I am posting it! Why? I feel we are all managing the imbalances created by a fast-paced, adult, functioning life, and many of us are medicating to have access to our humanity. We get these fleeting win

This is for relationships that can be best described as dry kindling: dealing, politely, but no warmth or closeness. Maybe you feel your partner is critical, that you are invisible, and when fights occur, they go to DEFCON level 1 instantly, and nothing gets resolved, the loop only resets. So in the day to day, there’s little connection between you. If this sounds familiar, I want you to imagine you and your partner are in a glass display. Like a window at a store. Close to 90% of all communication is non-verbal, so if you are noticing there is no love and affection being expressed on a non-verbal level, this is one place to start. More on this in the episode plus tools for stepping back from the hurt. A little change can go a long way in allowing the love that still lives to come forth. Big caveat: this episode is for those in “safe” relationships, not abusive ones. If you are in an abusive relationship here is one resource to get help: National Domestic Violence Hotline.   Support this week’s sponsors: M

This is for anyone who has done self-work and is reentering a family situation where you know you have triggers. It’s so you can stay above the loops that tend to get us feeling angry, hurt or defensive – feeling like a child once again. If you’ve been healthier outside of a particular family dynamic, it can feel like you are getting pulled back into a stew of old feelings– even when everyone in the group has the best intentions and is doing their best to be loving. Projection is a massive piece of what triggers really upsetting family dynamics. We try and validate what’s inside by engaging those outside of us to affirm it.   The end of the year is also when a lot of “stuff” comes up: it’s a milestone because of the seasonal change, the holidays, revisiting old places and relationships. It can mean there’s a bit of taking stock: looking backward, looking forward. But also – a flooding of old feelings. This episode has tools for staying loving and neutral –doing no harm to yourself and others. My hope is that

“I’m ugly” “I should be better by now” “I’m a terrible mother” “My relevance is over” “I’m old”… Everybody has these thoughts. They are average. What matters is whether or not you engage with the thoughts and follow their tangent. You can quite literally start thinking ANYTHING repeatedly and you will start to see it as true. There is no such thing as true or not true, only what you experience through your own lens. The way the brain works is via comparison. It’s a threat-calculator – a unique and special one trained on our experiences. But it is not “us” in the bigger sense. “We” are the silent watcher, the presence within that witnesses these thoughts. The moment they occur there’s a choice to be made – you can follow the feeling and invest in the script, like you’re an actor in a play, or you can look at them – step back, and resume a state of non-attachment. This is an episode all about escaping from thought prison. Have you seen around thoughts yet? This is the goal in this episode. Find this podcast on

A lot of people fall in love with a person they see another person COULD be and not who they currently are. I was this way for a long time and yet I couldn’t see the pattern in my choices. Often we become so attached to a person after seeing their awesome potential and we hold on, despite bad behavior, for that person to reappear. We over-function to help them get somewhere new, thinking we are helping and changing something when we are not.   Often that means living through months or years of bad treatment when the other person is not capable of being kind, loving, receptive, or present with us. Maybe they are in their own world and we are left confused as to why our requests are so unreasonable. You might start to feel like you are crazy, like you are being too demanding, or that is what they make you feel.   It really doesn’t matter what they are really doing or thinking – you may be fixated on that. The most important info is that they are unavailable, not capable, not consistent and you have to accept th

This is for breaking out of cycles caused by vulnerability and anxiety – whether that’s your own mind or a common interaction with a loved one. What I am talking about are moments when you take another person’s feelings, personally. When we get triggered by their emotional response, we get defensive which creates distance and or hurt. That sequence is what I am creating an intervention around with this episode. This is also about reseating yourself in what I would call neutrality and openness: restoring faith in what is possible for you especially in the face of negative thoughts about yourself and your life. It’s really about redirection after you have what I would call an old record that gets put on the record player that is your mind. What we tend to do is that old dance of pain that takes us to this next emotion, and this next belief, and this next one. Like being in a haunted waltz with a zombie who won’t let go.   So if you have a predictable set of hopeless conversations with a spouse – OR you have a p

Guilt is like a gut punch that doesn’t stop. The loss of meaning is like a thick layer of glass in front of your eyes. It’s like a constant reminder that you are not who you aspire to be. Something is not aligned in who you are. There’s also the kind of guilt you feel when you know rationally that you should not feel guilty – like you are betraying a part of yourself that is real and cannot sever an old allegiance.   In this episode, I am going to try and open up some air around the source of your guilt. I cover different kinds of guilt – the kind that results from shame over something you did and also the kind that “doesn’t belong to you” (as with severing unhealthy family relationships). My goal with this episode is for you to be able to see it as an external object–or a symptom, and not identify with it, in the hopes that you can move through it despite the intensity of the pain. My goal for you is to create change in your life and to find meaning. The path back to light and joy or at the very least progre

This is about growing your soul by doing the real work that will advance you. Seeing the muscle that needs work. I’m inviting you to choose to work on a coping mechanism that hurts you. To see around it – separate it from your person, and take apart its inner workings.   I think a lot of people keep themselves small or keep themselves occupied in things like relationships as a means to stave of feelings of pain. The pain results from an original wound that feels so vague and powerful that we stop to look at it. If you have a loop in your life, you might think it’s just “you.” You may have accepted it. But that is because you’re still in it and blinded by it. In order to change, we have to step back and start to work on it in very specific ways. This episode has tools for fostering that. So that we can follow our purest dreams, not the loop of what’s in front of us. To donate to the amazing charity I mentioned and save some lives of foster kids, visit TheTeenProject.com xo!   Support this week’s sponsors! Hiy

Have you lost a bit of shine and joy? This is a path back to gratitude and hope. This is an energy tuning episode all about restoring limitlessness and optimism on a mindset level but it also relates to being a good person, friend and parent. It’s about being conscious and responsible with your energy and tuning it to support openness and rationality. Never forget: Energy is a chain reaction: what we put out changes others, and also changes what comes our way. Think of yourself like a tuning fork. You resonate with the world around you in whatever way you are filtering your thinking. Let’s be careful and conscious about that – starting right now!   To support this week’s sponsors, head to:   Dr Marty’s Pets: Excellent dog food that makes my dogs feel great! Go to DrMartyPets.com/HELPMEBEME for up to 54% OFF Nature’s Blend and get a free bag of Cod Crispies, their bestselling wild-caught cod skin treats. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you move through life? Is it with a sense of “time unfolds for me” or is it more “Hurry! I need to catch up!” Let’s curate more joy in the world around ourselves and change our perspective toward “life is happening for me, there is enough, no need to hurry.” Another name for this episode was 'a thousand points of light' because we can affect our sum with small tweaks and additions. When we draw boundaries around our time and step back from mentally being two places at once, our entire experience of life changes.   This episode was inspired by my vacation. It’s for enhancing calmness and beauty. My most important observation: how you relate to time has a creative effect on your life and how you experience its sum. Without being half-working on my phone or intensely guided by efficiency, my day has grown years longer.   When we are “in a rush” for a long time– scheduling everything down to the minute and seeing how much we can accomplish in a day, it is a life designed at the cost of yourself. The casu

The inner committee is what I am focusing on in this episode. By that I mean the cast of characters in your mind that voice fears, judgements, criticisms, rules for what you can and will do, and generally limit your beliefs about your life. I sometimes refer to our mind as a stage on which actors perform scenes. “You” – the holistic, reflective self, are not your thoughts but rather a wiser presence. I sometimes refer to this as “the silent watcher” or “inner child.” That awareness takes in all this happening in your body and experiences the blips of energy created by your thoughts. One important note I want to call out – “You” might want something different for your life than your thoughts promote to you. And this episode is about being capable of guiding your life despite the chatter of the mind. Taking steps to move forward, despite them.  The inner committee can be incredibly powerful and fear-inducing. We react to them, which can hinder a lot of change, including positive change. This is about revoking

If you are feeling pissed off, having angry outbursts, trending toward negativity, and feeling a sense of doom, there’s a likelihood that you are burned out. This is an episode inviting you to step back and recalibrate when “the pot is full,” so to speak. This isn’t about dismantling what’s working if you are currently high functioning and getting shit done. It’s about creating some air or wiggle room in the face of that burned-outness, and with that shifting your direction toward health and positivity. This has tools for focus cleansing and putting our thoughts and reactions in perspective. Some specific tools for codependent friends as well. Sending much love! If you want to check out the book I mentioned you can head here: https://amzn.to/4cugoll   Support this week’s sponsors!   BetterHelp Stop comparing and start focusing, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/helpmebeme today to get 10% off your first month.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a conversation with Zak Rosen of “The Best Advice Show” all about how small acts make massive waves of change outwards. This is a feel-good show all about changes that affect the arc of life: the small, conscious tweaks we make change our trajectory in terms of happiness and overall quality of life. And the advice you hear in this episode is not necessarily what you’d expect–it’s grounded, simple, and life-altering. If you guys want to hear the episode mentioned when Zak interviewed me on his show, check out the link below: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/expecting-the-opposite-with-sarah-may-b/id1507811918?i=1000485483262   Support this week’s sponsors!   Gabb is the leader in safe, smart phones and watches for kids, teens, and tweens.   Right now, Gabb is offering $25 off any device to new customers—with no contract required! That’s $25 off any Gabb smartphone or smart watch. Just go to GABB.com/HELPMEBEME—that’s where you’ll get the best deal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphon

This is about escaping a relationship that you cannot seem to leave but you know 1000% that you are extremely unhappy staying in it. When we watch ourselves in a state of inaction, we assume it to be your truth. Ambivalence, rumination and a state of paralysis when it comes to a relationship–that you are clearly unhappy in– are very common. This is what I would call an invisible wall made up of the old rules, fears and traumas of your upbringing. Often the ambivalence is rooted in an inability to accept a truth – that we do not align with our cultural upbringing, our parents values, or we have undealt with pain that rests deep within ourselves. When we process these old feelings and separate them from our current wants and values, we can move through them knowing where our hearts truly lie. So if you find that you are spinning and rethinking what is negative about changing, but you are also fully aware that you are totally unhappy in this current relationship – this is an episode for you. Support this week’s