Beat Your Genes: An Evolutionary Psychology Podcast For Finding Happiness In The Modern World

On today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk will answer the following questions: 1. Imagine a 20-year-old male.  Every day, he plays video games, eats Twinkies, drinks Mountain Dew, binge watches Netflix, mindlessly scrolls through Social Media, and watches .  What are the long-term and short-term effects of all this supernormal stimuli? 2.I feel like I’m stuck in a diet mindset where my internal audience won’t recognize any of my efforts unless I’m 100% compliant all of the time.   Considering all the crap other people eat, I feel like I should be able to have one meal a week that’s not 100% wfpb and still be fine and not feel all this guilt? 3. I understand your view on how to handle questions about "why do eat that way" etc however i am wondering about what to say when people say things like "Oh i really need to do something about my weight so i have just started eating low carb high fat". Or " i have diabetes so i can't eat pasta or potatoes." Lately my respone has been to smile and say nothing however i am l

In today's show we discuss the Evolutionary psychology of individual, group, and self punishment and revenge. How does this factor in to Hamilton's rule?  Listener questions: 1. Why do people seek revenge and compensation pain from a person who has angered them even if they lose as well? Why do people take an approach of 'I will hurt you back even if it means I get hurt as well' when they are in rage? 2. Are there evolutionary reasons for sending signals to the others by physically harming oneself? 3. Kind of a weird question but why is it so hard to convey to guys/male partners that they should simply put down the toilet seat after they are done peeing?  I find this conversation extremely unnecessary and childish however it seems to me that there is something deeper behind (evolutionary) otherwise it doesn’t make sense to me to make such a big fuss about it. I know it sounds dumb but thanks for answering! 4.  What is it about human social psychology that make Stone age tribes or "villages" tend to Max out ar

In this episode, we have an on-air session with a listener whose new boss micromanages everything he does. 

In today's show we have the following questions: 1. What are Dr. Lisle's thoughts on group therapy? What is the purpose if there is one and how would he apply evolutionary principles and esteem dynamics to group therapy? 2. My MIL treats her 4 granddaughters quite differently.  I am a disagreeable person who really values fairness. It’s hard not to comment or approach her when she treats them so different. Let’s not even begin to get into how many more clothes and toys (resources overall) she gets for her daughter’s girls. Is there a way for her to look at my daughter differently and allocate resources fairly? 3. Recently you described the Enlightenment Trap, which interested me greatly and I wondered if you believed there was some degree to which meditation practice was a means of beating the genetic disposition for egoistic drives for status enhancement. Robert Wright certainly seems to think so. I recognise that there are apparently many examples of pseudo- meditators displaying their practice conspicuousl

We go over the following questions: 1.  What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud?  2. A dad's son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor's nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications.   3.  A listener's boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers.  He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one.  Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn't mind this happening.  And also if this is 'normal behavior' for men and so she should expect it from any future partners.  4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness? 5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps? 

The questions for tonight's show are as follows: 1. I was wondering how Dr Lisle reconciled two seemingly opposing thoughts I've heard on separate episodes. 1. CBT is an effective therapy to mitigate cognitive distortions and 2. The human brain/nervous system does an immaculate job of evaluating its effectiveness and status within a group. If our brains do such an amazing job of evaluating feedback from the group, why are cognitive distortions so common? 2.I've often felt anger when someone seems to misunderstand something, perhaps honestly and perhaps disingenuously in something that is approaching an argument. The feeling often keeps me from explaining exactly what I mean because I expect that the exact points of the disagreement are disingenuous so it won't matter and I will only regret justifying myself and "opening up". You've often mentioned that that communication in relationships isn't faulty the way most psychologist say, but you've also talked about getting crystal clear. So should I beat my genes a

We welcome to the podcast our newest guest, Dr. Jen Howk. We'll find out about who she is, how she got interested in Evolutionary Psychology, the work she has done, and her thoughts on a few select topics. 

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it’s safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host’s couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5?  Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit?  3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I’m now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irritated abou

Questions for tonight's show are: 1. Why am I so stagnant? Despite doing poorly in practically all the dimensions of my life (romantic, social, pursuit) I don't take any effective action. I've done an immense amount of therapies from various modalities, worked with many therapists, including numerous other things to no avail. I stew and rage but don't do anything and I don't know why. I also like to feel like a victim so as to not feel the pressure of responsibility. 2. Your explanation of anger and guilt being mirror emotions really struck me.  Do you think there is always a mirror emotion like anger and guilt? Or is it rather mostly a spectrum like your explanation of depression and boredom, when related to stress? I would be curious to hear about more on categorizing emotions. 3.  I am a bit confused about when disagreeableness is seen as a negative and positive trait. You said agreeableness is a highly valued trait, and while it is clear that one would want a disagreeable lawyer, you also said that charis

We welcome back Dr. Jen Howk for her part 2 debut on the BYG podcast.  Dr. Lisle and Howk answer the following questions from listeners: 1. I would describe myself as a 9. I am pretty and fit. I am educated and have a great job. Since I have graduated college I have had an extremely difficult time with dating.  2. If I slept with someone that I like too soon and they are showing less interest in me is there a way to get their interest back? I remember one episode you mentioned looking your best was a way to do this which I am working on losing some weight. Are there any pyschological mind tactics I can practice in the mean time? If someone is actively ignoring you is it best to do the same? 3.  I have a question regarding the full moon on the female psyche The Mother of my two children becomes more abusive and more unstable during a full moon. Generally she is a pretty tricky person to deal with and tripping over some petty little trap opens a gate for verbal and sometimes physical abuse.  She often blames th

Our questions for this show are: 1. Given the profitability of prescribing pills and surgical procedures, do you believe the mainstream medical-industrial-complex will ever reach a tipping point and head in the direction of true health care? As opposed to the current system of what basically boils down to disease maintenance? 2. In church this week I felt very guilty. No one is specifically asking me for nutrition advice but every week we hear about and pray for members of our congregation that have everything from kidney stones to cancer and everything in between. All of these conditions would be helped by a whole food plant based diet. I don't feel comfortable saying much about my diet at church but I feel very guilty about not speaking up if information that I have could help someone who is suffering.   Do you have any recommendations? 3.  I am a Clinical Psychology Doctoral candidate, and I will have my first patients this Fall. I am nervous, excited, but mostly curious. What concepts and theories from EP

In this episode, we introduce Dr. Jen Howk, who recently earned her PhD from Harvard. She brings a female perspective to our male/female dynamics questions and offers her insights to our show.  

"I'll do it, but not because you told me to"  is a common humorous refrain in movies & TV shows.  In this show, we explore where this emotion comes from.   First, by reviewing a famous study that found that kids spend less time drawing if you tell them that they’ll get a good student award for drawing a good picture, compared to if you just let them draw without telling them anything.  Then, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions: 1.  With regard to the ego and pleasure traps, if you want to instill a sense of motivation, do you set goals and fundamentals that solicit a stress response as opposed to soliciting an anxious or depressive response? How do you decide on a goal or the fundamentals that can begin the process of getting you out of the ego/pleasure trap? Is it a matter of deciding what is 10% better than what you are currently doing? 2.  Can parents toughen up their children, including infants, so that they don't cry as much, by pampering them less? In other words, is there evidence that you ca

We start this episode with a question about the Enlightenment & Ego Trap - left over from last episode. The rest of the questions are about interacting with children/kids.   1.  I have a number of friends who come from difficult backgrounds – a family history of mental illness and/or abuse, poor decision-making, relative poverty and very little work experience. I’ve found that they’re generally unwilling to consider most basic employment options to alleviate their financial difficulties, figuring they are “better than” most realistic jobs and even enduring a great deal of debt to get dubious education credentials which – most anyone with a critical eye can see – are not going to simply leapfrog them into a high-paying job, especially given the lack of work history. Can the “ego trap” exist for those who don’t have much outside esteem coming in? Is it a form of deferral of failure? 2. I have a 2 yr old and another baby on the way. Being a dad is teaching me that I have to constantly fight my disagreeablene

In this show, we discuss showing weakness as a sexual strategy, then we move to a question about dominance hierarchies vs. competence hierarchy (is there a difference?).  Next question is about the mixed perceptions of evolutionary psychology.   Finally, Dr. Lisle then takes some time to discuss elements of the ego trap.   The questions are as follows: 1.  Do you think there are situations where a man showing weakness to a woman can be positive? Can women get away with it easily, or weakness also a signal of sexual interest when it comes to them? 2.Some people seem to be so driven to compete and rise to the top, however their internal audience is constantly asking them, “are you sure you’re not being too dominant? Is this step up worth it?”, either directly or indirectly in the form of general stress. Emotional stability seems to be a huge component in how this plays out on an individual basis.  I’d be curious if you think this competence/dominance inner battle is part of what plays into the pleasure trap. 3.

Dr. Lisle goes in depth about why nature has selected for subjective experiences.  The question is as follows: What is your take on why a subjective experience would have been selected for, as opposed to animals simply being like machines with no subjective experience inside?  More importantly, what is your take on how a subjective experience can possibly be created in the mind? How could neurons firing create a personal experience? Next, he tackles this broad few questions: Why were we given the intellectual capacity to overshoot our evolutionary advantage and create inventions that cause our demise?  Why would our minds become so advanced to create a world where we live with and around multiple pleasure traps daily, where even the strictest, most conscientious of us will fall prey to decision fatigue and give in to a few of these traps, thus affecting our happiness? Why do they have the capacity to do this? It seems as though we would have been happier animals as a species with a little less intellect.

Questions tonight are as follows: Can you please talk about the relationship between money and self-esteem and how to learn to enjoy the money one makes? If women in one's social circles, acquaintances, friends, etc. seem receptive to casual mating, should we go for it without much worry, or is it bound to lead to future problems with them and the group? Why does it appear that people make so much up? (at least on TV when asked questions) Am I the oddball for feeling that when you've known someone for a long time, that means something? Is it because I'm low in openness and introverted?

A recent study published in the Journal of Personality & Social Psychology* attempts to tackle understanding the stress of decision making.  Nate G goes over the article and Dr. Lisle offers his take.  Can the stress of decision making be explained solely by the personality trait conscientiousness?   Dr. Lisle and Nate discuss.    The next topic stems from a listener's question:  "Can we choose who we want the most esteem from?  Is there a way I can care less about the esteem from some people? It is sometimes exhausting to try to please everyone."   *PDF of the JPSP article : http://blogs.cuit.columbia.edu/mayarossignacmilon/files/2018/08/Chen.Rossignac-Milon.Higgins.JPSP_.2018.pdf

In this episode, we review a new study in the science of happiness. The first, by Bruce Headey called, Happiness and Longevity: Unhappy People Die Young, Otherwise Happiness Probably Makes No Difference, explains what effect happiness has on our longetivity.  The first listener question is from a young man whose short love life has allowed him to feel the moods of happiness while in a relationship. Since the most recent breakup, he feels as though he has low self-esteem and is curious about whether this low self-esteem is due to his need to seek validation from others.   The next question is about evolutionary mismatch and whether happiness may come from correcting as many evolutionary mismatches as possible.   To finish out the show, we have a live caller asking about how to fine tune his diet & lifestyle and get over the proverbial "hump" after losing some motivation.  

We start the show with a question about whether a higher extroversion individual would act more introverted due to status loss.  Then, we move on to a question about why & what to do when getting ignored or constantly interrupted in an academic setting.   Then we move on to a quesiton about whether we have natural, genetic discipline and ambition.  Dr. Lisle shares his opinion about a recent book, Blueprint by Robert Plomin.