Sinopse
What's the purpose of life? How do we find happiness? What is happiness? We discuss real life situations to find what we need to do to find happiness. To do this, we have to sometimes go against our instincts. This is called "beating your genes". Listen as I, Nate G, your host, talks with Dr. Doug LIsle, evolutionary psychologist, about life, love, relationships, and most importantly finding happiness in the modern world. We are live on Wednesdays at 8:30-9:30pm PST. If you have a question or comment, or maybe even a complicated situation that you'd like some advice on, feel free to call us live at 657-383-0751 or email us at [email protected] .
Episódios
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221: Lockdown changes & annoyance, Dealing w Burn out, How to Help a friend
14/05/2020 Duração: 52minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle & Howk discuss these questions: 1. Do you see any big long term changes coming as a result of the shut down and isolation that will last more than a few months? Will this cause any long term evolutionary pressures for habit change or will we revert back to the same norms? 2.I'm disagreeable and fairly low conscientious and don't respond well to authority. If I get told to do something I don't want to do, it just makes me not want to do it even more. During the pandemic, how can I stop getting annoyed and getting into arguments with people and other jobsworths making pointless and unreasonable demands beyond the legal requirements of social distancing? Sometimes it feels like some people are in a competition to be seen as doing the pandemic better than others and love to point out all the faults, real or imagined, of others. 3. I am a hyper-conscientious nut case as Dr. Lisle would say. I've been running tech startups for over 25 years but my latest one has really burned me out.
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220: Tension w friends, Dealing with conflict, Mass hysteria, Self-esteem
07/05/2020 Duração: 53minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss the following questions: 1. HELP! Am I going to lose friends over the virus? Most of my friends are overwhelmed with fear and are just bossing everyone around. Seems like if I don't agree w/ their demands (i.e. wear a mask, even when outside and 6 feet apart) or if I don't show as much fear as they do, I get the strong impression that it could have a negative and permanent impact on the friendship. I've had to lie to my close friends and I don't like being put in that position. I honestly am starting to feel harassed. How can I manage this? 2. My issue is on conflict. In my situation I always want to run away from conflict and get away as fast as I can. I would like to know how I can stop feeling this way and just deal with the conflict without going into a downward spiral. 3. Does the fear that has gripped the US qualify as clinical mass hysteria or since it has been driven by poor health statistics and media reporting is it justifiable? 4. Hi there, very inte
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219: Increasing your self-esteem & escaping the pleasure trap during Lockdown
30/04/2020 Duração: 50minIn today's show, Dr. Howk and Nate discuss life during lockdown. Dr. Howk comments on those struggling to accomplish a particular task because the lockdown has disrupted their normal routine whether it's escaping the pleasure trap or other such tough task. We also discuss the psychology behind finding yourself delaying action on something important due to the disruptive effects of COVID-19.
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218: New data, Coronarivus Part 6
23/04/2020 Duração: 01h01minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss new data that has been released in the last week indicating an even more favorable direction.
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217: Coronavirus Part 5, Math clarification
16/04/2020 Duração: 57minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk clarify some of the data & math behind the coronavirus pandemic currently dominating government policy and news discussions.
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216: Coronavirus Loneliness, Economy, Revolution, Bell Curves & Stereotypes
09/04/2020 Duração: 01h07sOn today's show, the Dr's discuss the ongoing coronavirus situation with some pointed questions regarding lockdown loneliness, the economy, libertarian angst during a pandemic, and the different responses of different countries as it pertains to personality differences.
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215: Coronavirus with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk
02/04/2020 Duração: 48minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk wanted to make a video podcast so the audio has been uploaded here but you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x40WWoUpeds
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214: Coronavirus 2020 Part 2
26/03/2020 Duração: 01h03minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk continue the coronavirus pandemic discussion. Dr. Lisle is a former professor of statistics at Stanford University and he has analyzed the data on the coronavirus data coming out of the worldometers.info website. He shares his insight and interpretation with us. Dr. Howk's recent articles, "When Bad News is Good News" and 'Of Pandemics and Personaity" are also the topic of discussion in this show.
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213: Coronavirus 2020
19/03/2020 Duração: 53minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the coronavirus pandemic and what to consider when hearing news of this outbreak.
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212: Being a therapist, Overcoming fears & anxieties
12/03/2020 Duração: 44minIn today's show, the Dr's discuss the following questions: 1. Would you still recommend psychology as a career? I am interested in becoming a therapist, and your podcast has turned what I thought I knew on it's head and has completely changed the way I would want to go about my theoretical orientation. But now that it's so different, I feel like I am doubting everything. Could you talk a little about what it's like to be in the position of the therapist? I am looking for information to direct my behavioral output. 2. How do I overcome fear? I have a friend who is brave and courageous! I would so like to accomplish those qualities, but whether it comes to sky diving, public speaking, or taking other risks im super scared and it takes so much for me to make the leap? How can I make the leap easier and become more courageous when I know that's what I really want? any tricks/shortcuts/technique or game changing information regarding this? 3. I am a female in my 50s now, and all of my life when someone is mad or
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211: Neuroticism and IQ, Creating habits, Saving a post-affair marriage
05/03/2020 Duração: 59minOn today's show, the Dr's answer these questions: 1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We've all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied? 2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system's priorities too? 3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over
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210: Well-meaning organization getting off-course, Personality cancer
27/02/2020 Duração: 45minIn today's show, Dr. Howk discusses the following questions: 1. I belong to a professional organization that has been working to root out genuine problems with racism, albeit in fits and starts. But lately it feels as though the tone has devolved from one of problem-solving to grievance-seeking and grievance-magnification. The communications have been hijacked by highly disagreeable and/or highly neurotic individuals, plus those who are gaining status as lead torchbearer. A few have said they'd rather destroy the organization than be part of one which hasn't achieved their goals for diversity, even if said organization was doing good advocacy work for others. Is there any coming back from this? All pleas for mutual respect and professionalism are decried as tone-policing and their originators as enablers and bigots. Anything I can do besides keep my tongue tucked and eyes on my own work? Thank you for your thoughts! I'm grateful to this podcast for giving some psychological distance from the ongoing shit show
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209: Susceptibility to addiction, Dealing w family bullies,Attraction C/B
20/02/2020 Duração: 41minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions: 1. Are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? If so, why are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? 2. In my husbands family, several members are bullies. Even my husband will join the bully pack if there is any indication they might turn on him. I am highly agreeable and conscience and find I am often the target of their bullying. What is the best 'tactic' to use with adult bullies in families? 3. What attracts people to others from different ethnic backgrounds to themselves? I wish was drawn to women with dark features as there are so many more of these women in the world. 4. People get physically less attractive as they age. They also become less fertile to the point of being infertile. What happens when looks and the prospect of sex are no longer appealing due to age related decline? How does evolutionary psychology explain attraction at this point in life and beyond?
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208: Arrogant/cocky people, Epidemic of anxiety, Evo psych of suicide
13/02/2020 Duração: 53minOn today's show, Dr. Lisle goes over these questions: 1.I have a brother-in-law who is mildly successful, makes decent money. he thinks he’s the most intelligent and successful person. He constantly finds ways to brag about how well off he is and how he is just better than everyone. How does one deal with a person like this? 2. I would like to understand this epidemic of anxiety that is happening these days. What is happening? I have 5 adult children and they are all thriving, successful, socially contributing adults ranging from 20 - 37. 4 of our children and 1 daughter in law are all suffering from high levels of anxiety. 2 of them are taking medication for it. I have taught meditation for several years now and I see it in the classrooms with children even as young as kindegarten. They suffer with being able to fall asleep and have trouble 'letting go' and just relaxing. Their anxieties are different among them. The girls seem to get anxious about general life situations and the boys are more anxious about
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207: Calibrating to the market, Showing off genes in the cold, Finding a mate
06/02/2020 Duração: 50minIn today's episode, we go over these questions: 1. I understand from evolutionary psychology that certain market distortions, like a large number of females in college, or a small number of males in elderly age affect the quality of partners we're willing to date. What I am not sure about is how this calibration changes subjective experience. Do people only change their behavior to attain a partner, or do they also feel more attracted to people of perhaps lesser gene quality? 2. When I was in my twenties, I used to go to bars and wait in line to get in during the winter. In Montreal, winters can be very cold but one would always see girls waiting in the cold with no proper clothing. These happened to be the sexiest girls. My buddy would be impressed with them, saying that they seemed to have a supernatural ability to beat the cold. My question is: do you think that exhibiting the capacity to sustain a noxious stimulus can be used as a gene quality signal? Do you think that smoking can also viewed in this way?
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206: Depression, Why does mad girlfriend ignore, 25 year relationship no sex
30/01/2020 Duração: 56minIn today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk go over the following questions: 1. Depression often gets talked about as being a biological condition and that just like having a broken arm, treating depression with medication is similar to treating a broken bone with a splint. What is the opinion of Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk about treating depression with medication vs. taking an evolutionary approach to helping individuals improve the esteem dynamics in their life? The combination of medication and therapy is often viewed as the best treatment, but I don’t think most therapies take the approach that Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk do. 2. I'm a male and I've noticed that in numerous relationships, if my girlfriend was mad, then she would just flat out ignore me. I don't understand this behavior as anger would usually lead me to talk through issues and try to resolve them, whereas they might just ignore my calls and messages for days at a time. This caused me tremendous stress ro the point of getting no sleep and significantly
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205: Moderation vs. fanaticism in life pursuits, Social media as pleasure trap
23/01/2020 Duração: 01h02minIn today's episode Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk answer the following questions: 1. My brother never does anything in moderation, for example if he starts working out, he'll organize his life around it, stop all social drinking and the like. Then he will eventually feel empty and complain he's burnt out. My question is, is he destined to live in this open-unstable roller-coaster ride, or can I give him some advice (perhaps Harry Browne style) that will help him find his place? 2. I've heard Dr. Howk talk about social media as a potential pleasure trap, and I was wondering if she could go into more depth on that. What are the circuits being hijacked? What advice would you give to a low-key social media addict?
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204: Do emotions trigger relapses? How to prevent/minimize addictive relapse?
16/01/2020 Duração: 53minIn this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, "Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use". https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it's hard to resist the feeling that I'm leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying
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203: New Year's resolutions, Pleasure Trap, Health questions
09/01/2020 Duração: 57minIn today's show, we'll get the Dr's take on a recent study "Surviving and Thriving: Fundamental Social Motives Provide Purpose in Life" published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin." https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0146167219883604 We'll also go over these questions: 1. Where do New Year's resolutions come from? Why start something Jan 1 vs. any other random day? 2. Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the most common New Year's resolution: weight loss 3. What do the Dr's think about the work of Dr. John Sarno in curing chronic back pain using education of how the mind works as treatment? According to Dr. Sarno childhood abuse can lead to rage in the unconscious mind and brain triggers TMS or chronic pain to repress this internal rage and there have been hundreds of people who have cured their back ache after reading his book, Healing Back Pain
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202: Leaving an unhappy marriage, Flirting, Toxic parents, Needy friends
02/01/2020 Duração: 50minToday's questions are: 1. I’ve been married to a 90% disagreeable man for 42 years. Many times I’ve packed my bags but never followed through. I dream of being on my own, doing the little things in life without being questioned. As he has gotten older his drinking has become a problem. Every year finds me more depressed. How to know when to go? 2.why do men flirt? I am falling for a guy who is a huge flirt. I see him flirting with me and with other women, and he has a long distance, long term girlfriend who he is faithful to. Why does he flirt so much? Why am I falling for him even though I know he doesn't mean anything serious by flirting? 3. How do you deal with toxic and controlling parents who like to believe that they are doing RIGHT by continuing to control your life well into your adulthood ? Is it normal to feel that you have a hate relationship with your mother because of lack of support and love to you? As a daughter it feels awful to feel it this way but I can’t get over the fact that having a di