The Look & Sound Of Leadership

This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it. Second, how will you address the moment when you need to say, “I don’t know”? Prepare for it. It’s going to happen. This episode has lots of ideas to try. The final issue is confidence and finding your executive presence; the core of every episode of The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast. In addition to the ideas in this episode, you can ask for a PDF that lists 15 related episodes to help you show up the way you want to show up. Send an email to [email protected] and ask for the PDF that goes with this episode. I’d love to send it to you.

You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change.    One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick.   Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: Dealing With Emotional Responses A Difficult Conversation Discussing Difficult Behaviors Handling Defensive Behaviors Three Words You Should Never Say   If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen.  And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.   Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. L

Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy. This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue. Related episodes to help with these skills are: Disagree Agreeably Facilitating Open Dialogue Getting Agreement Holding People Accountable Leadership and Listening Resolving Conflict

Meetings are often viewed as a necessary evil to be endured. But they can be engaging events that build people’s skills and accelerate the work. This month, a recipe for mixing up meeting magic. There is a four-meeting model discussed in this episode. If you want a graphic illustration of the model, just look at the online version in the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ or email me at [email protected] Two books are also discussed in this month's episode: Patrick Lencioni's "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" and "Death By Meeting," both essential reads for team leaders.

Fear is natural but insidious. It can carve caverns in the foundations of our confidence, weakening our capacity. This month, a client learns about three kinds of fear and a transformational question that tames fear. A seminal book to help master fear is "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. At the end of this month's episode, Tom tells a story about the amazing reach of podcasts.

Empathy is a crucial component of The Look & Sound of Leadership. Some people have it naturally, others don’t. In either case, it can be developed and learned. This month's episode has lots of ideas about what empathy is, what it isn't, and how you can develop it.   There are lots of resources discussed this month.   A book called "The EQ Edge" by Stein and Book.   A great 3-minute animation by Brene Brown about sympathy versus empathy. It's on the home page of her website: brenebrown.com. Look for the cartoon of a bear and a fox.   Other epsiodes you might listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Self-Awareness & Self-Management   You also might go to essentialcomm.com, select "Coaching Tips," then search two subjects in the archive : Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development   Finally, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a job search, Tom did an interview this month with a wonderful career coach na

A bonus episode!Tom shares email exchanges he had with two podcast listeners. One exchange is about handling people who interrupt presentations. The other is about defining tasks and responsibilities when they're not defined for you.During the podcast, Tom mentions two other episodes that support the ideas here: one episode is “Facilitating Open Dialogue.” The other is “Creating Devoted Followers.”If you’d like more bonus episodes like this one, let Tom know at [email protected].

How you brand yourself sticks with people a long time.Thismonth, a senior executive dreads having to brand himself duringaninterview – until he learns about the PersonalHistoriestechnique.In addition to giving you this simple yet powerful tool tohelpbuild your personal brand, this episode also references abookcalled "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team."Details about this book is at the end of the podcast. ThereIdiscuss that there are actually TWO books about theFiveDysfunctions. They're quite different. Here’s how."The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable" has ajuicystory about a team struggling to succeed. In the back of thebook,the author teaches The Five Dysfunctions and explains atarelatively high level how to overcome them. The tools in thisbook– including an assessment your team can fill out – areuseful.If you’d like to know how to build a high-performing team,thesecond book is even more useful. It’s called, "Overcoming TheFiveDysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide f

This month, The Look & Sound of Leadership gives you a tool for developing your team. A process that takes only minutes to learn, if practiced regularly, this exercise has far-reaching ripples. Welcome to "The Plus/Delta Tool."Other episodes to help you develop as a leader of teams are:Your Team's Best Interests - Part OneYour Team's Best Interests - Part TwoCoaching Your PeopleEngagement and PerformancePerformance ReviewsResolving Conflict

From the Harvard Business Review to the New York Times, mindfulness is widely touted as a powerful tool to increase personal effectiveness and well-being. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip explores the “how to” of being mindful with an executive who was already on the path but didn’t know it.This episode shows that mindfulness is neither complex nor mysterious; it just takes practice. More importantly, this episode puts forward the idea that all professional and personal development requires you to be mindful to some degree.If this episode inspires you, there are even more Tips to help support your growth. Go to the Executive Coaching Tips archive and select the category “Personal Growth & Self-Development.”http://essentialcomm.com/tag/personal-growth-self-development/

Coaching is expensive. Coaching is hard to measure. Coaching is too touchy-feely. There are a million arguments against coaching. This month, a tough CEO puts Tom on the defensive about coaching. If you'd like to explore this topic further, here are nine related Tips:A Breakdown of ListeningCoaching Your PeopleCoaching Versus TherapyCreating New BehaviorsHigh-Stakes MeetingsHow Behaviors ChangeLeadership & ListeningSelf-Knowledge as LeadershipWho’s Coachable Or you can search the free archive of all ten years'  worth of Tips. Use the "Search by Subject" tool to look at the category called "Personal Growth & Self-Development." There are more than 40 Tips in that cateogry to help support your professional development. At the end of this Tip, Tom invites you to become a client. If you're interested in being coached, send him an email at [email protected]

The goal of this episode is to give you a three-step process to help you succeed in meetings when you feel there’s a lot at stake.Step one: Clarify the Story. Four other episodes can also help with this step: “Sounding Executive,” “Communicating With Clarity,” “Executive Presenting” and, the mother of all communication tools: “Sorting and Labeling.”Step two: Do Your Homework. This step is different for everyone. Sometimes it means getting information from another department. Sometimes it means researching data. Sometimes it means talking to people who’ve gone before you. Most people seem to know what homework to do; the struggle is finding time. Because we’re busy we think, “Oh, I’ll let the homework slide.” But I promise – doing your homework will make you feel much more confident.That brings us to the final step: Managing Yourself. In this episode I mention several concepts to help you manage yourself that you can find in other episodes. “Assume Equality” is a critical self-management tool. Another, to help

For many businesses, uncertainty and ambiguity is their new norm. In such anxious times, people long for leaders who will make tough decisions, stand behind those decisions, and protect their people. In some circles, this is called “showing teeth.”In this episode, I refer to The Center for Talent Innovation and their white paper on Executive Presence.I also refer to four related episodes:Assertion versus Aggression GravitasSpeaking for YourselfSpeaking Your TruthFor more ideas about “Showing Teeth,” you might also check out all the episodes in the Assertiveness category of the Executive Coaching Tips archive. The Executive Coaching Tip that explains “unconscious competence” is Creating New Behaviors.

Lack of engagement can assume many disguises but there is one outcome that is predictable: poor performance. What would you say if you found out you could get people engaged – and improve performance – with just two questions? Sounds like a miracle, right? That’s what I thought, too.

Disruptive executives take many forms—bullies, catastrophizers, resisters, you name it. But no matter what mask they wear, they create upheaval. Whether the disrupter is your boss, your peer or your direct report, coping successfully requires two things: courage and skills. Here’s how to find both.

Presentations are a golden opportunity to display your executive presence. Here are six behaviors that’ll help you command the room and deepen your brand.

We all think we’re better listeners than we really are. Luckily, we all have the capacity to improve our skills. But not all listening is the same. Here’s a breakdown.

When you’re communicating, you not only need to fly through the intricate patterns of your own information, you need to be sure we can thread that needle along with you.

The research is unequivocal: in the workplace, women play on a tilted field. Everyone contributes to work's off-center world -- even women! This episode explores ways to bring the tipping back in balance.

Narcissistic executives can be infuriating. And, unless you’re one of their favored few, they can be dangerous, too. These five actions will help protect you—and keep you sane.