The Look & Sound Of Leadership

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder.The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here.Other resources mentioned in this episode:Last month’s episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-AwarenessE.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.Nathaniel Branden’s work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts.Dan Harris’s podcast 10% HappierMeet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.Courses currently open for registration are:Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full courseCareer Wellness – free mini-course Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCASTThis episode is in the library under four filters:Assertivene

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings.The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid.Other resources mentioned in this episode: E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure!Five episodes to listen to: #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management #109 Building Emotional Intelligence#25 How Behaviors Change#142 The Mindful Executive#190 Thinking ErrorsGratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews.From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening.See you next month!

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader.Core concepts in this episode:When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders.People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader.A democratic leader doesn’t have to give everyone their way, just give everyone their say.When listening to ideas, just listen. Don’t fix or tweak or improve.The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you.The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you.Categories in the archive related to this episode are: Leading Teams Leadership Perception – How You’re PerceivedRelated episodes are: How Teams Fight Inviting Dialogue Psychological Safety Taming Meetings The Conflict ConversationIf you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email.In this episode, Tom mentioned:A progressive elementary school in

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship: 1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation is important. 2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are. 3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically. 4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person. Related Archive Categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Skills Related Tips & Episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks The Conflict Conversation A Difficult Conversation Short Sounds Confident Smoothing Harsh Edges Books to boost your skills in tough conversation: Difficult Conversations Crucial Conversations   The library of all the past episodes is at: https://e

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’” Related episodes are: Unblocking Feedback (from last month) Don’t Take Anything Personally Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Tom has three leadership interviews that have gone live this month: Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518 A deep 40-min dive into “Sorting & Labeling" Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37 A wide-ranging 60-min exploration of leadership Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21 A fast-paced 25-min examination of your readiness for coaching The a

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback. In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window.   Related episodes are: Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself   Five related episodes you might listen to are: Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality Performance Reviews Soliciting Feedback   The full archive of episodes is at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: [email protected] See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his. PDFs for you: The Johari Window Who’s Coachable Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey. The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Related Archive Categories: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Related Episodes: Thinking Errors Boundaries The Executive Impostor Combatting Emotional Hijacks Self-Awareness & Self-Management   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for completing the survey. We’re excited to share the new website we’re building for you. Thanks again for posting reviews! Stay positive. Test negative. See you next month!

In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters.   The archive of all the past episodes is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/   Be in touch with Tom at: [email protected]   From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — enjoy!

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks  Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships  Organization –  create lead-time and eliminate fire drills  Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble   At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are… Change Your Questions, Change Your Life The Confidence Code Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations EQ Applied Self-Esteem at Work The Four Agreements   Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? Click here and put “6 Books” in th

This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly. Lots of links this month! At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out: The Executive Impostor In the commentary, I mention two books: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Overcoming The Five Dysfunctions of a Team This is the field guide that will show you how to work with your team. Other related episodes are: Delivering Tough Feedback Managing Bad Behavior The Intentional Leader Your Team’s Best Interests – Part One Your Team’s Best Interests – Part Two There are three filters in the archive that relate to this episode: Leading Teams Negative Self-Talk Perception — How You Perceive Yourself The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: [email protected] As I

Two dates: Monday, November 30, 2020 The survey closes. Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom https://essentialcomm.com/survey Thursday, December 3, 2020 Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.” After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally created a course for you. Register at: https://essentialcomm.com/disc The gift is a 60-second practice to help you be strong and resilient. Take care of yourselves! From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership”

This month’s coaching conversation is about creating a script called ‘Style.’ The script helps make difficult conversations easier. Complete this month’s four-question survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom. essentialcomm.com/survey Sign-up for a small-group, highly interactive Zoom course about the DiSC Behavioral Self-Assessment. This course is available to the first 12 people who sign up: essentialcomm.com/disc If the sign-up is closed when you go to the page, put your name on the wait list. Maybe we’ll have more than one session! Related episodes this month include: Capitalizing on Differences in Style (this one is all about DiSC styles!) Conflict Leadership and Self-Deception Self-Knowledge as Leadership The Conflict Conversation Stay safe, everyone. Sane, too! See you next month. The Look & Sound of Leadership team

This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way. Related episodes: Dynamic One-on-ones Facilitating Open Dialogue Inviting Dialogue Questions as Leadership The Human Element   In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories Relationship Building Social Skills Managing Yourself   Help us build a better website for you. Complete our survey at: essentialcomm.com/survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: [email protected] Thanks, everyone! From all of us at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally. In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating psychological safety. Related episodes are: Agreeable Disagreement Assertion versus Aggression “Don’t Take Anything Personally” Inviting Dialogue The Conflict Conversation In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Assertiveness Leadership Managing Yourself The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: [email protected] PLEASE COMPLETE OUR SURVEY You’ll be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! Your input will help us build a better website for you. essentialcomm.com/survey From the whole team at “

This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver upward feedback effectively? In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the famous Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/marshmallow-test/561779/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share   Related episodes are: Dealing With Emotional Responses Delivering Tough Feedback Giving Powerful Feedback Perception is Reality The Disruptive Executive – Part One In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Communication Skills Feedback Managing Up The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: [email protected] See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination. The Marshmallow Test is explained in “Self-Awareness & Self-Management” Core Concepts in this episode: Video provides distance that can help break old patterns. Some people are highly agitated these days. Their agitation is not about you. Don’t take it personally. You might find yourself more annoyed than normal. Don’t act on it.   RELATED ARCHIVE CATEGORIES Leading Teams Managing Yourself Communication Skills RELATED TIPS & EPISODES Boundaries Connecting Over Video “Don’t Take Anything Personally” Leadership Behavior in Meetings Taming Meetings The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to all of you who post reviews. See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional. Three questions to help you become present: What am I doing right now? What feelings am I having right now? What is happening in my body right now? Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice. You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters: Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks Connecting Over Video Inviting Dialogue Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Mindful Executive The archive is at:

SHOWNOTES: This month’s coaching conversation is with a leader who wants to keep strong connections despite the quarantine. She and Tom explore the barriers that make connecting over video so difficult. Four essentials to attend to on video: Angle Lighting Background Sound From Tom to you: These difficult times can create a lot of fear. An antidote is to be curious. Curiosity is at the very heart of coaching. If I can help in anyway, let me know. Go to https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ and let me know what would be helpful. There is always help for you in the archive. Filters that relate to this month’s episode are: Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Leading Teams Managing Yourself   Five related episodes are: Video Feedback & Executive Presence Executive Presenting High-Stakes Meetings Building Emotional Intelligence The Human Element The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with To

This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding. Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode. Looking good in video conferencing https://medium.com/@bobsacha/a-cinematographers-guide-to-looking-good-in-web-based-video-conferencing-fb6cf651714c   4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/03/22/these-four-techniques-will-instantly-improve-your-videoconferences-with-remote-employees/amp/ Coronavirus Doctor Empowers Us https://vimeo.com/399733860   “That Discomfort You’re Feeling…” https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Executive Coaching Group https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/   Core Concepts in this episode: > We brand ourselves with our self-talk every day > Find language to help you talk about yourself > Talking about yourself is not

This month’s coaching conversation is with a high-performer who was passed over for a promotion. Together, she and Tom identify tools to make sure she doesn’t get passed over again. Core Concepts in this episode: > Aisha chose to NOT be self-promotional. In your organization, a more vocal approach may be effective. > Click out. Think from a higher altitude. Give yourself the promotion. > Networking is not evil. But have intention. Be a good detective. Related Archive Categories: Managing Yourself Related Tips & Episodes: Acting on the Corporate Stage Leading Teams Managing Former Peers Networking The Flexible Leader The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to Paul Ison and George Avelino. You guys are the best. And thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. So much thanks! See you next month!