Delight Your Marriage

Do you ever feel humbled by your mistakes? Do you ever feel flat-out humiliated?    Oh my, do I fall into that sometimes!  I think the enemy feels glad about that -- and then the shame he heaps upon us while we're recognizing the mistake (and maybe the enormity of it.)   And that's when God's truth (as Kyle, DYM Mentor, reminded me of yesterday) is so helpful. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1   See, when we go out of our comfort zone and try to do God's work, we're going to trip. And that's normal.  One reason I hope and pray that you have seen me trip is so that you can have more courage to get out there and do something that God has called you to do also.  It takes courage, and we're going to trip. I'll raise my hand to that. We're going to mess up.  But the nice thing is God is present and He is helping us to get up and get better over and over again. Note: Perfection isn't even a real possibility anyway -- who gets to decide what "perfect" even is? Who

This is a resource to invite your wife to Delight Your Marriage, and to me, Belah Rose.    I would love for you, husband, to listen first and see if you might use this as a warm introduction to my material.    It's so easy to see words on a page and be repelled by it, but it's far better for us to get to know each other on a personal level and I'm hoping that's what this episode allows for.    (For those who have already gone through MR1 -- or are the recent graduating class -- I especially made this for you!)   If you've done the work on yourself, I think it makes sense to pray and ask God for His timing and see if this might be a tool that He can use for a brief and positive introduction to the work.  The work that is transforming families and marriages around the world -- by God's grace!  Blessings, Belah PS -- If you'd like your marriage to have the passion (even if you're really great friends right now), then you need to chat with one of our Clarity Advisors. Allow them to hear your story and see if a pr

I think we often forget about the power of words. Especially if the "party" we're talking about isn't present.  But what about the "party" that is present?    Here's a true saying: "those who talk to you about others, will talk to others about you". And when your spouse hears you judge another person, they may feel glad that you consider them a confidant.  But the problem is, they also get to hear what kind of person you are.  They understand if you judge others, you're going to judge them the same way.  And judging outside of the bedroom means judging inside of the bedroom. A judging mindset doesn't stop when you get in the sheets -- and your spouse knows it. And specifically, women, can't feel safe and free if she knows she's sharing a mattress with a meany.    Then, Jesus has some pretty scary things to say about our words: "But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken." Yikes!    Who needs to go delete a few social media posts (or doze

Jfyi, I recorded all of this episode (except for the very last portion) about 11 weeks ago, so for those currently in DYM programs -- take it personally -- but not because I recorded it thinking of you specifically :)    What is masculinity?  What our society says it is? Powerful, rich, authority, direct, right, muscular, able and willing to kill, tough, deep, deep voice, no emotion, immovable, winner in every arena, sexually desired, admired by all... Do you feel you have to always have the last word or you're considered weak? Do you feel you have to fight to preserve your "manhood"? Do you feel you have to have sex in a certain way/frequency/variety/engagement/enthusiasm from her, for you to feel like a man? Do you feel your wife has to treat you with respect for you to feel like you're masculine?   I get how it is confusing based on the poor role modeling we get in our SERIOUSLY backward society.   The problem is...  A mature woman scarcely gives a crumb about the aforementioned descriptions.  An

Do you have your goals for 2022? Do you have your goals for Q1 of 2022? I don't just mean business/work goals. I mean goals that help align your life with God's will. Do you have a system for discerning God's will? Well, in this episode I give you my system for discerning God's will and writing goals accordingly. It's thorough, comprehensive, "begins with the end in mind", and keeps an eye to meeting Jesus central. Too often people fail to consider the big picture so the small picture seems like it doesn't matter. Well, I want to give you a serious kick in the motivation and "you can do it!" through this episode. Because -- through Christ -- you following God's will, can be super practical and doable! Here's my system. The beginning of January is when everyone is excited about goals, so I suggest you use that momentum to set your own goals for the next 3 months (Not year, 3 months -- you'll hear why). Now is the best time to discern and commit to those goals. --- Also, if marriage is on that list...we can

Oh, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and we wish you fear-free Christmas, and we wish you a faith-filled Christmas, and from all of us at D-Y-M!   That's just one example of why my kids drown out my singing when I make up words to popular tunes.    Regardless of my kids, here's another one I'm proud of... ---ehemm--- Let it go.  Let it go.  Don't worry 'bout it anymore-- Let it go.  Let it go --- Just wait to see what's in store.  We don't know, what God has planned.  But if we trust in Him --  He'll give us the strength to stand.  ---*bow*--- I am proud of that one. They... are not.    (I promise I sang neither of those on today's podcast episode.)   But today's conversation is about faith. Faith is what we celebrate at Christmas.   The faith we have in Jesus being brought into the world for us. And this is the faith I want to remind you of during this season that often can get crowded up with all the holiday festivities.   I want to talk about how vital faith is for the miracle you're looking for in your marr

Oh wow -- what an awesome and surprising conversation I got to have with Ebony.  Firstly, this was supposed to be my opportunity to coach her as a recorded call for our ladies in the group. But, it turned into her sharing her testimony and wonderful insights and encouragements from her life that I just had to share with you! She was raised by a single dad, her husband was raised by a single mom.  Due to trauma and difficult heartaches in their history, they've suffered many challenges. She has 3 kids and wanted to rewrite the story of their future families. When she found DYM it was after she had a season of working on her mental health through therapy. (Something I have done and highly recommend as well!) When she found the DYM podcast, God started speaking to her through the material. And she decided to get on a Clarity Call and join the program.  She didn't tell her husband because so many times in the past she has said something, he'd get his hopes up and then he would be disappointed.  She decided she wo

How do we process feelings in order to bring about healing into our relationships, rather than cause tension and strife? Can we trust our feelings? Do you struggle to interpret your spouses feelings? Does your spouse misinterpret your feelings? This podcast will help give some guidance about healthy ways to process our feelings and the feelings of those who are in our lives. What is your compass? Although feelings are real, feelings can be a disastrous compass. Feelings are volatile, unpredictable, and often, not even accurate to reality. There is a MUCH better compass to live by! In order to act in wisdom with our feelings, they cannot be our leader! Rather than react to our feelings, we need to respond to our feelings.  To be direct in our communication is easy for the speaker, but it is hard for the listener. Does our communication style make those who hear us feel safe, cherished, respected, admired, and loved? Yes, feelings - wisely handled - can be so helpful in so many ways! I invite you into this podc

Last week was part 1, and today I'm excited to bring you the last few items to rekindle the romance, intimacy, connection that may have been lost over the years.  Today, I am giving insights on sex, including responsive vs. spontaneous drive and libido. Which I think will help men and women - high or low drive. Seriously, if you know someone struggling in marriage -- these are the episodes to send them.  It's definitely high-level but if they'd follow it -- oh, my -- they'd be in a better place!   Blessings, Belah   PS - If you need help, we're here! Sign up for a Clarity Call (free, but worth $300) to determine how we can help you... delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - For a limited time (this training is going away soon!) there is a free masterclass for Christian wives:  delightyourmarriage.com/wm Wife, it would be an awesome Christmas present to him for you to take it!

So this is a catch-all type of episode that seeks to give you high-level insights where you can almost immediately gain traction in rekindling romance, passion, and connection your marriage -- or just take it to the next level.  So, if you've been looking for something...anything that could help -- here you go! If you have a friend who is on the rocks with their spouse, send them this episode (and the one coming out next week). If they follow it, I believe they'll witness God's dramatic transformation. Blessings, Belah PS - If you need help with your marriage immediately -- get on a call with a Clarity Advisor to go through how we can help you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - If you are a wife and want to give your husband true connection for Christmas... take this free masterclass only available for a short time -- go to delightyourmarriage.com/wm

JUST in time for the holidays! Please listen to this before you have a blow-up with the people most important to you. I'll give you a lot of tools that you can implement immediately. (Warning: All of the scriptures below and in the episode are personalized to your spouse, but if you know you'll be seeing a certain someone who triggers you, put their name in there, too!) --- When I look at scriptures like... Phil 2:3 “Do nothing towards [your spouse] out of selfish ambition or strife but value [your spouse] above yourself.” “Care not of your interests but care about the interests of [your spouse].”    That's kind of a knock in the face needed to stop always thinking about ourselves, isn't it? And don't most of our marital fights start because that's the only one we're thinking about?   I just wonder if we'd be proud of ourselves if a transcript of the last fight was read from the pulpit on Sunday.   But...you may be thinking about when your spouse comes at you with... -Untrue accusations... -Totally, self-cent

You have too much riding on this.  There is too much to lose or gain.  Don't give up.  My goal today is to encourage you. You're doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you're winning. You're seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn't look like it matters.  You're seeking to do God's will in the midst of your circumstances.  My husband is on the show today because he's the best encourager that I know. And I want you to hear from him how much he wants you to know, you're on the right path, you're doing the right thing, and I am proud of you.  Love, Belah PS - If you need help right away, get with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - If you have yet to check out our free stuff -- do so here! delightyourmarriage.com/free

Sometimes we look at our blowups and wonder -- how did we even get here?  How did a wrong turn, an unpaid bill, an unwashed dish, or a burnt potholder... turn into World War III? What happened here? And why is this kind of nonsense tearing our family apart at its foundations? It's because you're not really fighting about a potholder.  You're fighting about all the unmet expectations from the years and years of pain you've experienced. And so is your spouse.  How do you get out of this cycle?  And more important: what does Jesus require of you in this cycle?  What does is matter in eternity whether or not you succumb to these kinds of blow ups? Well, my goal is to give you a bit of fear of the Lord to decide you are going to be a real follower of Jesus and the blow ups aren't gonna fly.   I hope you'll listen in with an open heart and a desire to grow and be edified. And ultimately a desire to grow closer to God's will for you. Blessings,  Belah PS - Two things:  1 - if you haven't yet checked, there are a ton

I used to be so weirded out by sex, because I was pursuing Jesus with everything.  How could my life be sold out for Christ and have to engage in such carnal behavior? Then God opened my eyes to quite a lot. I hope you'll listen to today's podcast with an open heart and willingness to let Him reveal His true design and desire for you in your marriage.  Love & Blessings, Belah PS - if you need immediate help with your marriage/intimacy please set up a call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

Masculinity Reclaimed (the program these gents took to transform their lives, by God's grace) has opened enrollment and it all closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021 11:59pm EST delightyourmarriage.com/minvite -- How frequently have you heard of marriages "on the rocks" or getting divorced? And how frequently are you hearing of marriages transformed and healed and better than when they were dating! (In just 3 months!?!?!?!)   HERE!   God is doing it HERE!    I want your faith to be inspired and encouraged and for you to feel true HOPE that if it can happen for him and him and him and him and him and him and him... It could happen for you! (And these are ONLY the men from the program who are brave enough to have their face and voice out on the internet for all to hear/see!) It's a movement and we have the largest turn out we've ever had in the free Men's Masterclass! And men are joining Masculinity Reclaimed left and right.    Now is your time -- you owe it to yourself to find out if this is where God would

If you're looking for hope that your marriage or intimacy could change, you've found it.  These are rapid-fire stories of how these men's marriages literally transformed in simply 3 months.  Here are these guys saying in rapid-fire interviews: "Now, it's better than when we were dating" "She initiated 5x in a week" and she didn't know he was doing the program. "Our emotional connection is so much better than it was...she's softening" "Our intimacy is night and day different"    If it can happen for them, why not you? I bet you'll hear your own story in theirs.   The Masculinity Reclaimed program is what they did and now God has transformed intimacy for their marriages! Listen in to hear hope and encouragement!   Join the Masculinity Reclaimed program before it all closes down 11:59pmEST on Monday Oct 18, 2021 delightyourmarriage.com   Blessings, Belah   PS - Once you go through MR, I'd like to add your testimonial to the list---it's pretty long at this point, but I want yours too :) Why not have the most ama

delightyourmarriage.com/minvite   If you join within the first day, you can get the fast-action bonus Team Strategy Session with Belah!   Hope to see you on the inside! Belah

This Monday -- Oct 11 is when the Men's Masterclass begins -- sign up delightym.com and please send it to your friend who may need this. --Now to the show!-- I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.    Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy... I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.   One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife.    So, you probably do...   But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.   Fast forward to today.    Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection. (Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" :) ) For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.   But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely? And your enticing her

He does not know it will cost him his life.   Sounds like a horror movie -- where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing. But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place -- if only he knew it would cost him his life. (Isn't that how those horror movies go? I don't actually know, I don't watch them.)   But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core.    I hope it does.    Our society says the absolute opposite of this about sexual sin.   It's so sad and so awful the way sex outside of marriage is touted in our society as "normal" and even "healthy".   Oh but it grieves God. And it destroys a man's soul.    "He does not know it will cost him his life". Prov 7:23   So I want to ring the bell. I want to yell in the streets -- you don't know the danger. You can't see the wreckage, but it is happening whether you see it or not.    So, much of Proverbs warns against the temptation of the wrong way of sex (and so many other places explicitly as well

delightym.com Join us!  Some gents have met together to go through the material carefully after each class (like a Bible Study!). Some men have moved their vacation schedules! Some men asked if they should take off work to make sure they can be a part.  Our team does an amazing job of making this a fantastic experience for the attendees -- very interactive with quizzes, points, prizes and most of all an opportunity to gain the perspective and tools that could change your marriage forever! Join us, Oct 11, 12 & 13 delightym.com