Polyamory Weekly

Meet Goody Howard, sex positive superhero!   0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Host Chat Poly Dallas Millennium was eye-opening! 2:45 Poly in the News In Australia, TV news coverage of women fired for being poly Satire: experts warn this Seattle poly relationship could expand to cover all of Seattle! 9:17 Interview: Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero We do a poly profile of Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero, whom we met at Poly Dallas Millennium. An intimacy consultant and a sex educator who loves to host toy parties and teach classes on oral sex, her superpower is helping people to be comfortable discussing intimacy, sexuality and their own wants and needs. To support her trip to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit next week, go to PayPal and send your donation to [email protected] Women of Color Sexual Health Network Her favorite thing to do is to teach oral sex classes, currently available as Lick! Sexy Summer Series 2017 in the

Listener Shanna calls in to ask if her willingness to be poly will help them get past her husband's cheating. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Announcements Minx and LustyGuy will be at Poly Dallas Millennium next month Koe is coaching; hire them at koecreation.com or email [email protected] And teaching The Great Wide World of Nonmonogamy at the Armory in San Francisco on August 31. Get tickets here. And they are also working on their memoir as a second-generation poly person! 4:30 Poly in the News Wait for the second date to reveal you’re poly? From Savage Love 5:15 Topic: will poly fix his cheating? Listener Shanna calls in to say that her husband has cheated and she is open to polyamory. How do they move past the cheating and improve their relationship together? 22:40 Feedback We learn the term “parrot gliding”! 23:45 Happy Poly Moment Marie shared a happy poly moment in Swedish! How to make this podcast better Questions? Commen

What do you do when your partner dismisses your shit-owning? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Announcements We’ll be at Poly Dallas Millennium next month 1:20 Poly in the News Wait for the second date to reveal you’re poly? From Savage Love 4:30 Topic: when owning your shit isn’t enough Listener A writes in to ask when owning your shit isn’t enough—how about treating your partner with compassion and care. Sometimes, people use “own your shit” to mean “I don’t want to do the work that a healthy relationship requires.” Where is the line between owning your shit and being compassionate and caring for your partner? Relationship Bill of Rights 12:45 Feedback A listener calls in to ask why women can have friendships with women but men can’t have friendships with men Queen of Sodomy calls in from Iceland to question if the poly folks should join the GLBTQIA community 20:15 Happy Poly Moment Ivan called in with a HPM about kids meeting metamours

Is it OK that I am feeling displaced by my metamour? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Announcements We complain about having to close the windows and turn off the fans in order to record when it’s 90 degrees out. J Also! We’ll be at Poly Dallas Millennium next month Minx learned how to moderate YouTube comments after posting her response video to Mayim Bialik to YouTube. Second Favorite Man poly country western ballad by Tight Pajamas will be our outro music. The music video is here, and you can purchase the song here. 6:30 Poly in the News David gives an audio review of The Secret History of Wonder Woman book about the polyamorous author and recommends it for those interested in comic books, feminism or the fight for birth control 13:30 we also discuss our reactions to the Wonder Woman movie 16:05 Three men in Columbia registered their poly marriage 17:15 Topic: I’m feeling displaced by my new metamour New to Poly is feeling pushed as

Minx addresses Bialik's misconceptions about open relationships. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Announcements Lusty Guy’s My Swinging Origin Story 2:10 Topic: Responding to Mayim Bialik’s video post on open relationships A few weeks ago, Mayim Bialik made a video post about how she doesn’t get open relationships. Here’s my response video on YouTube and on Facebook (with 22,000 views already!) She has quite a few misconceptions! Here are the top six misconceptions I created a response video to clear up: Most primates are monogamous Not true! 97% of mammals are nonmonogamous. Among the primates, a few monkeys and one ape, the gibbon, are monogamous. Every other species is nonmonogamous. It’s all about the sex. She says she gets it’s not all about the sex, but then proceeds to spend six out of seven minutes talking about the sex. So… who’s making it all about the sex here? Male sexuality always equals promiscuity, and female sexuality always

A chat with podcaster and author Cooper S. Beckett about his new novel, Approaching the Swingularity. Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Announcements Lusty Guy’s My Swinging Origin Story 2:00 Interview: Cooper S. Beckett Cooper S. Beckett, long time host of the Life on the Swingset podcast, talks about his new fiction novel, Approaching the Swingularity. Our written interview blog post with Cooper about Approaching the Swingularity. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. 23:45 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

A listener calls in from Japan to ask if one can be successfully poly if one is introverted.  0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Announcements Lusty Guy’s Swingtowns article on fighting fair Alan’s poly 101 article 2:20 Topic: Can you be introverted and poly? A listener writes in from Japan to ask if it’s possible to come across as anything other than lonely and desperate when you’re introverted and poly. Then he calls in a few weeks later to say that, after reading our books and listening to our podcasts, he feels GREAT and is good to go! Lusty Guy’s article on loving yourself first 14:15 Feedback Alex asked about my idea of improving the relationships I enter and what Lusty Guy and L would say Minx has improved their relationship? L’s list: L got a friendship with Minx, a cleaner house, international vacations, an active social calendar LustyGuy has more energy and has discovered the value of an attractive, organized space 25:15 Happy Po

Kevin Patterson and Ruby Bouie Johnson join the team to review that NYT Magazine article on open marriage from May 11. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:15 Topic: That New York Time Magazine article In this unrepresentative 12,000 word article, New York Times Magazine chooses to show only dysfunctional poly couples and uses Kevin as The Token Black Guy. This is their more representative follow up article Kevin’s response post The Times Piece About Open Marriage Doesn’t Represent My Experience Ruby’s response post What the New York Times Neglected to See 25:30 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jan

Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares her insights on the testing and transmission of four key STIs 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Announcements and host chat I’ll be giving a talk on polyamory at Ignite Seattle on May 18. Keep an eye on the Poly Weekly Facebook page and Twitter account for the livestream if you’d like to watch remotely. 3:10 Topic: Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares the key takeaways from her RelateCon presentation on The Sensible Slut, a review of the transmission and testing methods of the top four STIs: chlamydia, HPV, HSV and HIV. Contact her via Utah Poly. 28:10 Feedback Listener K writes in to talk about the newbie poly mistakes they made and to express gratitude at the educational materials PW provides so they don’t feel so alone! 30:05 Thanks Thanks to our newest anonymous PW Playmate! 29:30 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call th

An interview with Racheline Maltese, co-author of a new poly romance novel.  0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Announcements and host chat I’ll be giving a talk on polyamory at Ignite Seattle on May 18 For more information, read the Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory ebook or paperback For a how to guide to setting up your new poly relationship, read Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up; for a guide to poly ethics, read More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert 8:30 Interview: Racheline, co-author of The Art of Three poly romance novel Racheline Maltese, co-author of the new poly romance novel The Art of Three with Erin McRae, talks about the process of writing a romance novel for poly folks. Racheline Maltese can fly a plane, sail a boat, and ride a horse, but has no idea how to drive a car; she’s based in Brooklyn. Erin McRae has a graduate degree in international affairs for which she focused on the role of social media in th

Help! Compersion squicks me! Does it mean I'm jealous if hearing about my husband's dates disgusts me? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Today’s cohost is Lusty Guy 1:30 Announcements and host chat New Dutch bank bunq commercial specifically targets polys! 5:15 Topic: help! Compersion squicks me! Lauren has been married to her husband for 24 years and non-monogamous (mostly swinging) for 12. Five years ago, she discovered he had cheated, and they worked through it. Now they date separately. And while he loves hearing what she does on her dates, but Lauren is grossed out even thinking about what he does on his dates. 15:30 Feedback Matthew writes in to say he tried the And then what? exercise to deal with jealousy/fear/insecurity but didn’t think he learned anything from it. 21:45 Happy poly moment A listener writes in with a happy poly moment of her triad going really well, metamours and all! 25:00 Thanks Welcome to Susan and Rachel, our newest P

How do I say "no" to a reasonable request from my partner? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Today’s cohost is Kevin Patterson 1:30 Announcements and host chat Multilinking conference 3:45 Topic: how do I tell my partner no? Eva writes in to ask how to tell her partner no to a request. Her partner Lisa wants an additional date night each week, but Eva doesn’t feel she can give that and wants to take time to settle into her nesting relationship with Denise. How does she say no to Lisa?  9:15 Feedback Vir Modestus took issue with our advice in episode 507 How do I get control of my fears?, and even wrote up a blog post about his frustration with “you’re insecure” being used as a way to dismiss someone else’s emotional reponse. 23:15 Happy poly moment Kevin shares a happy family poly moment 24:45 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at

If I'm dating a poly married guy, am I poly? Can he be my core relationship? If I want a core relationship, do I have to go back to being monogamous? Search our blog archives of all episode show notes at www.polyweekly.com 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Today’s cohost is Lusty Guy 1:30 Announcements and host chat RelateCon was amazing! You should go next year! 5:45 Poly in the news Rethinking monogamy on CNN TV is finally starting to get polyamory right 10:45 Topic: does dating poly make me poly? A listener writes in to ask how to manage her self-identity as she is dating a man in a couple—what happens when she is ready to focus on a core relationship? Does she disclose her existing relationship? Break it off to pursue monogamy? Or can her sweetie be her core relationship? You got questions; we’ve got answers! 26:20 Thank you! Thanks to Spirit, and Craig for their donations! And welcome Blackbird, Fernando, Toby and Brenda to the Playmates!

My partner of seven months ghosted me. How can I avoid this in the future? Email [email protected], call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Today’s cohost is Kevin Patterson 1:30 Announcements and host chat Foropoliamor is in Spain June 16-18 2:30 Poly in the news I’m 90% honest; the 10% lying is why our relationship works A cultural moment for polyamory on NPR 14:15 Topic: how do I avoid ghosting? Listener Suzy writes in to ask how to avoid being ghosted (suddenly ceasing all communication with someone you are dating in lieu of breaking up)? 23:30 Feedback Michael gives some kind positive feedback! The Accessible Multi-linking and Polyamory virtual conference is coming up the first weekend in November 25:00 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comme

Help! My metamour wants to post about her relationship on social media, but I'm in the closet, which means she must be, too. Who decides when I come out? Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Today’s cohost is Lusty Guy 1:30 Announcements and host chat New ebook, No Dick Pics: Your Guide to Creating an Irresisitible Online Dating Profile for just $4.99 Do you love us? Tell a friend about us using #trypod (try this podcast) 4:25 Topic: who decides when I come out as poly? M writes in to ask: my metamour Nina wants me to be out as poly so she can post about her relationship on social media and is convinced that M is only not coming out so she can hold on to her primary status. What to do? 20:20 Feedback Alan wrote in to verify that yes, it’s usually the woman who asks for polyamory and to say he finds that Lusty Guy’s hedonism will give our opponents ammunition to use against polyamory Anonymous poly doctor writes in to give feedback on episode 499 Coming out to your doctor and how

A chat with Dedeker Winston, author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory and host of the Multiamory podcast. Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Today’s cohost is Lusty Guy 1:30 Host chat Planet Money NPR podcast And then what exercise Lusty Guy's My Poly Story Lusty Guy will be doing a Poly in the Heartland road trip. Email him at [email protected] if you want to be interviewed! The Art of Three blog interview 9:10 Poly in the news A New York judge has officially awarded custody to three parents in a landmark case The Poly in the News coverage 14:20 Interview: Dedeker Winston, author of Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory Dedeker Winston   The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory.  Facebook and Instagram at @dedekerwinston. Multiamory podcast 37:45 Feedback episode 501 episode 502on coming out to kids 43:00 Happy poly moment 47:10 Thank you! 49:00 How to make this podcast better Email [email protected] Call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY Twitter  Facebo

Loving half a couple after a triad implodes. A listener asks: how do I love only the wife after our triad implodes and her husband won't talk to me? Email [email protected], call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly  

A poly activist profile with the organizer of Poly Dallas Millennium and LCSW, Ruby Bouie Johnson. Email [email protected], call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly  

How do I get control of my own fears to be able to handle poly sex situations better? Email [email protected], call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly  

What if I love him more than he loves me? Should I run to avoid risking deep emotional pain? Email [email protected], call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly