The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Sometimes a workplace bully is best defeated by the kind of precision and persistence usually reserved for military endeavors. After all, this is war. Speaking of the military, should you put in another eight years to get half-salary pension for the rest of your life, or get out now and use your GI Bill benefits for film school? How can you tone down your hyper-competitive nature and just have fun playing games instead of trying to dominate everyone who dares to oppose you? How can a leader control their stress levels to keep a positive and strong face for the people who look to them for guidance? Quick shoutouts to Clint, Brandon Clift, and -- last but not least -- Ronsley Vaz in Australia at the We Are Podcast event in Gold Coast. Jordan had a blast with you guys and can't wait to do it again next year (if he's invited back, of

Nancy Duarte (@nancyduarte) and her agency have been transforming Silicon Valley companies into movements for 25 years. She is the author of several books -- most recently Illuminate: Ignite Change Through Speeches, Stories, Ceremonies, and Symbols. The Cheat Sheet: How to persuade by speaking in a way that tells a story of contrasts. What great communicators have in common and how to borrow from their playbook. How to frame yourself as a leader -- aka a torchbearer -- in your business (even if you don't consider yourself the figurehead type). How to learn and master the highest leverage communication skills for the quickest and most dynamic return on your time and effort. The five stages of a venture scape: dream, leap, fight, climb, and arrive. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the paymen

Joshua Fields Millburn (@JFM) of The Minimalists tells us how we can make do with less of what we don't need to have room for more of what we value most. The Cheat Sheet: What is minimalism, and how does putting it to practice give you more from less? How can letting go of things enhance creativity and improve your health? What's the 20/20 rule? Can you and a friend endure the challenges of the 30-Day Minimalism Game? Do you have what it takes to be a packing party animal? And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm liste

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Ryan Holiday -- author of Ego Is the Enemy -- joins us to discuss how we can become qualified experts in our field by sharing some of his favorite tricks of the trade. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: How do you become qualified to dominate a niche and establish expertise in a given area? Ryan tells us how he used the uncompetitive space of universities to promote his first book and gain a foothold as an expert in his field. Tracking verified Twitter mentions of his book allowed Ryan to expand his reach by offering free copies for people to share with their friends and colleagues. Always treat people as if they can get you on the front page of The New York Times -- because they might actually be able to someday. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Kimberly Seltzer (as featured in our Toolbox for Women episodes) joins us for this one, so lets cut to it! In this episode: How can a hopeless romantic stay willfully single without feeling empty? What do you do when your significant other gives you the silent treatment instead of telling you when you've done something to upset them? How can an intimidating person become more approachable? How do you exude confidence rather than desperation when you're looking for romance? What can you do to get your groove back when you find out your ex was hiding a secret family? A quick shoutout to Anavel from EMSI who hooked Jordan up with an opportunity to give the keynote for its annual conference this year. He says: "You are all a great crowd and I hope AoC has some new fans!" Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@the

Oliver Burkeman (@oliverburkeman) is the author of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking; he joins us to explain why it's healthier to accentuate -- rather than ignore -- the negative. The Cheat Sheet: How does a pessimistic skeptic of positive thinking culture find himself pumped up with 12,000 other people at a motivational seminar in Texas? How can the avoidance of negative thinking make us unhappy? Are the tenets of the Ironic Process Theory slowly driving you insane? Negative Visualization: a healthier way to worry with purpose. Affirmations often go beyond just being silly -- they can actually be harmful. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp

Clay Hebert (@clayhebert) is a storyteller, marketing provocateur, and founder of Crowdfunding Hacks. He joins us to explain a framework he developed called The Perfect Intro: How to Confidently Introduce Yourself, Your Business, or Anyone Else in Six Words or Less. The Cheat Sheet: How do you introduce yourself in six words or less? Learn how to tailor the introduction of yourself and your business to suit the crowd and room where you are. How do you introduce others to one another in an effective way that makes everyone look good? Here's a technique to ensure that people welcome your introduction on both sides. Find out how Clay inspired our very own Minisode Monday episodes here at AoC. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a s

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, recent guest Jenny Blake, author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One, joins us to try and answer the age-old question: When dissatisfied with anything in life -- whether it's a career or a relationship -- is the grass really greener on the other side? The Cheat Sheet: Look at where you are now: maybe you're already in the right patch, but you just don't know how to make the grass grow there yet. Or maybe you really do need to move. We all have dreams -- some are worth pursuit, and some aren't. Jenny says you need to ask yourself: "What would I regret more? Staying in place, or making a decision [to pivot]?" Identify your must-haves, your nice-to-haves, and your dealbreakers. What are your knowns and your unknowns? What's the worst possible outcome (of going or staying)? What does success look like

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A listener sends supportive feedback to Jamila from Fan Mail Friday #80 about how sometimes we find ourselves trusting someone who doesn't deserve it... ...But sometimes it's worth giving your significant other another chance -- both parties just have to be willing and prepared to put in some hard work. We get some great advice from a listener who made it back from the brink. More listener advice: this time to L.A. Poor from Jamila from Fan Mail Friday #79. Sometimes the difference between rich and poor goes beyond what's in your wallet. If you're annoyed by our Minisode Monday and Fan Mail Friday episodes, might I direct you here? (We know you like feedback!) Regarding quote verbal air quotes end quote. Jordan shares an interesting idea for an ambitious young person who likes to travel. A quick shoutout to Matt Reynolds -- the tr

Daniel Pink (@DanielPink) is the author of To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, which uses social science, survey research, and stories to offer a fresh look at the art and science of sales. The Cheat Sheet: What's the best way of dealing with an "off" day? Learn why sales and a sales skillset are a part of our lives -- whether we like it or not. Understand the concepts of irritation versus agitation (and how to use both to motivate others). Attunement: what it is and how it can make you more persuasive. Tips for both introverts and extroverts to improve a social skillset and build better rapport. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting

Greg McKeown (@GregoryMcKeown) is the author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, which challenges core assumptions about achievement (e.g., "more is better") to get to the essence of what really drives success -- on one's own terms. The Cheat Sheet: Essentialism: the antidote to the problems of feeling busy but not productive, stretched too thin in one area of life, and fulfilling the agendas of others but not our own. Learn how to live by design, not by default. Find out how to say "no" effectively without getting in trouble at home -- or fired. Discover how to set hard boundaries between work and play. Learn why folks who are originally very good at essentialism can end up ruining their career and their sanity by letting these boundaries slip over time. And so much more... Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! If you want the most ama

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, recent guest Charles Duhigg -- author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business -- joins us to discuss why we're probably writing our to do lists wrong and how we can use SMART goals to make them more effective. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you write to do lists, you're like most people who are trying to squeeze as much productivity out of the day as possible. But some to do lists are more effective than others; sometimes they're just written to make us feel productive. (About 15 percent of to do list writers include tasks they've already done for a sense of cognitive closure.) If you'd rather use your to do list to actually get things done instead of as a form of what Charles calls mood repair, try breaki

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is quitting something stable you hate to do something risky you've always wanted to do -- with no promise of success -- worth it? Do you tough it out and try to have a good attitude at your current job -- with which you have ethical and professional issues -- until you can go full time on your side hustle, or do you acknowledge the problems and find another job in the meantime? What's an effective, reasonable, yet not terribly costly way to learn a foreign language? The disgruntled educator who wrote to us in Fan Mail Friday 78 reports back with a very encouraging update. You're in the process of making legitimate personal improvements since you and your significant other -- with whom you have children -- had a hard breakup. You want to get back together, but the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual. Can they be actively won back, or

Charles Duhigg (@cduhigg) is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter at The New York Times and author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between what we think and how we think? Learn more about the science of motivation and what makes us tick. Compare the internal vs. external locus of control. What is cognitive tunneling and when does it affect us? Discover how we can use mental models to avoid it. Find out how to increase creativity even when we hit a block. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a pr

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author of the upcoming Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. He joins us to talk about the evolution of our innate (but limited) morality and what we as modern, rational humans can do to overcome this programming. The Cheat Sheet: Do we learn good and evil as we grow up, or are they hard-wired into us by evolution? Are we all just closet racists (with some of us just more closeted than others)? How can we scientifically test biases in babies who seemingly only express themselves by cooing and pooping? Good news: innate moral sense exists. Bad news: innate moral sense exists, but is limited. The goal of a modern culture is to make it a bit less limited. What can we do to change the us vs. them monologue with which we're born? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small busine

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week we tackle one of the most overused words today: gratitude. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you repeat something enough, it often loses its meaning. Through overuse, "gratitude" seems to be one of the latest casualties of this phenomenon. But done right, gratitude is one of the most powerful tools we have for life improvement -- it's one of the straightest and shortest paths to happiness and connection, and it utilizes thankfulness for things we already have rather than goading us toward what's currently out of reach. The word thanks comes from the Old English thanc, which means thought or gratitude. But it's also related to the Latin tongere, which means to know. So to thank is really to know. To know someone and to know yourself -- to know what they did for you and to know how it affected you. We can't really summon the p

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible to strike a balance between a no-strings-attached friendship and a relationship to benefit from the best of both worlds? How can you turn your good ideas into a business when you're always being pressured into taking dead end jobs just to make ends meet? Does using profanity make you cool as #*$&? Is there any way to remain a friend with your best friend's significant other when they aggressively pursue you for...more than friendship? Is "you have to tell them like it is or they will walk all over you" really an efficacious customer relations strategy? A quick shoutout to Kady T (not her real name), who listens to AoC while trying to find a new home and launch a business while she raises her 11-month-old baby in a shelter for abused women. Next time you think your life is overwhelming, remember Kady T! For what it's

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) presents one of the most important tools in the toolbox: perfecting your elevator pitch -- a brief and memorable introduction you could make to a fellow passenger in the time it takes to get from the lobby to the penthouse suite. The Cheat Sheet: Do you fear being asked the "what do you do for a living" question? Learn what an elevator pitch is and what you should make sure it includes. What is the Tornado Technique and how can it whittle down your elevator pitch to be most effective? Use these methods to practice and get your presentation down. Understand self-reflective analysis so your pitch can evolve as you do instead of being a stale reflection of who you were last year -- or 10 years ago. And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art o

Penn Jillette (@pennjillette) is the vocal half of comic magician duo Penn & Teller and author of Presto!: How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear and Other Magical Tales. The Cheat Sheet: The role of flow (or autopilot) in high-level performing. Why Penn & Teller are constantly pushed and driven to innovate. Why it's important to question the things we want to believe the most. How tough love should play into the creative process when you're collaborating with someone you respect. Does moderation deserve respect? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off!

In this Minisode Monday, we may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. Let's get to it!: The Cheat Sheet: What can you do if the bad behavior of a friend is reinforced every time you pick up the slack for them? The roles we play in the lives of others directly affect the nature of our relationships. You can't go outside without a jacket in the middle of winter and blame the weather for being too cold. We may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. In short: don't try to change other people. Change the role you play in their life. By changing your role, you take control and accept your own actions and consequences. To learn more about social dynamics and taking control in the roles we play in the lives of others, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into p