The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible your body's clock is determined at least as much by when you eat as by when you sleep? What are globetrotting Jordan's secrets for conquering (or at least not being completely TKO by) jet lag? (Swanwick blue light blocking glasses, soft earplugs, and a Sleep Master sleep mask are recommended in the mix.) A former boss who didn't listen to his employees and was never satisfied at work tells us how he turned over a new leaf thanks to the patience of those same employees. As a leader, how can you lead on those days when you just don't feel like it? Does having a significant other take away from the "selfish" lifestyle that seems to be calling your name? Being a "friendship snob" may have served you well early in life, but how can you make the change from a friendship scarcity mindset to a friendship abundance mindset w

Tom Wainwright (@t_wainwright) of The Economist shares the harrowing and sometimes grisly experiences he endured to write Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel. The Cheat Sheet: Understand the parallels between the drug trade and regular businesses. Learn how ideas of economics and business apply to any entrepreneurial or business venture. Discover how drug cartels engage in corporate social responsibility, branding, and even PR campaigns. Hear why drug cartels franchise, regulate labor, branch out online, and diversify into legal (and ubiquitous) industries. Perhaps most intriguing of all: find out how an economist gets discovered wearing a GPS device to a meeting with a drug lord and lives to tell the tale! And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tat

John Ruhlin (@ruhlin) returns to share some of the best network-enriching tips from his book Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention -- just in time for the holidays! The Cheat Sheet: How gifts and generosity make people at work want to help you. How to become an attention broker and stand out above the noise. How to get past a busy person's gatekeeper and turn them into an advocate. How you are wasting your "networking" dollars and time and what to invest in when it comes to relationships. Why your significant other hates your gifts and what to do to make sure she or he is blown away by your future gift selections. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to n

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about the importance of applying critical thinking to documentaries, news, and other media presentations to avoid being manipulated by their biases without having all the facts. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Critical thinking is a valuable skill -- but how often do we put it to practice? Have you ever been influenced to behave in a certain way based on information presented to you in a documentary? We should keep in mind that even the most fair-minded documentary is biased to some degree. Facts are flavored to support a premise -- but can you pick up what the filmmaker's trying to feed you? Try watching a documentary this week and look for the holes in the argument. Try to discern the filmmaker's motivation behind making it. What's the angle? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Unless Kimberly Seltzer or Duana Welch have time in their busy schedules to help us out, we acknowledge our advice to women sometimes misses the mark -- and we apologize. We have a listener set us straight on what we should have said to 'Soldier' on Fan Mail Friday #84. As Philip McKernan told us earlier this week, what you're good at doing doesn't always align with what you want to be doing. How do you find the time to assess if your talents are keeping you away from your purpose? What is the appropriate way to respond to questions you don't want to answer? Here's some support and advice to Fan Mail Friday #87's Monica from a listener who knows a thing or two about the liability of a toxic family that can't get over the mistakes you've made in the past even as you make incredible personal improvements. Think you've touched on som

Philip McKernan (@PhilipMcKernan) rejoins The Art of Charm to discuss his new film Give & Grow. It depicts a unique journey of uncovering people's hidden and dormant gifts that have the ability to affect others, and the potential to change the world. The Cheat Sheet: Do you keep busy as a way to avoid doing the important -- but often difficult -- things in life? What's the cost of not regularly giving ourselves permission for time to do nothing? Learn the importance of uncovering your personal gift, the cost of not uncovering it, and how to uncover it in the first place. What's the difference between a talent and a gift? What's the difference between finding your gift and following your passion? And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady

Nathan Chan (@foundr) built multi-million dollar Foundr Magazine -- a digital magazine for aspiring and novice stage entrepreneurs -- in three-and-a-half years by networking and sheer hustle. He's here to share some of his best secrets, including how to establish connections with hard-to-reach people. The Cheat Sheet: The tools for getting in touch with hard-to-reach people. The importance of serving first and asking later. Why you should never get disheartened when you get "no" for an answer. Pitching in a way that makes it about your subject and not about you. Why offering to work for free isn't always as generous as you might think. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Base

In this Minisode Monday, David Burkus, author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual, joins us to talk about a better alternative to the compliment sandwich -- that annoying phenomenon where "constructive criticism" (aka something negative) is given between two compliments as a way to cushion the blow. The Cheat Sheet: The recipe for a compliment sandwich: Hey! You're great! | something terrible about you or something you've done that you don't want to hear | But you're still really great! This is designed to cushion the blow of criticism by buffering bad news between two bits of good news. The problem: it's disingenuous and psychologically confusing. What is the person being served a compliment sandwich supposed do with the information presented? In an office setting, for instance, they may well wonder if they're being promoted or fired when the boss offers them this sandwich most unsavory. David recommends this alternative to the compliment sandwich (courtesy of P

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it okay to spend a few hours each day doing things that don't better yourself? Should you directly approach a company that seems to have taken an interest in you, or should you wait for it to contact you first? Might the reserves be a good compromise for Fan Mail Friday's 85's Passion or Paycheck? How can you remain informed about the world's current events without influencing your happiness and relationships? Would you go home with someone who sleeps in a tent in their living room? When you look for things like unconscious bias in everything you don't like, you're sure to find it. Quick shoutouts to Vilde Sjøtvei from Norway -- she loves listening to the show out there and applying things to her dating and professional life -- and Adam Solano and his lady friend Sam; they're lovely people, and Jordan's really glad to have met

Marcus Luttrell and David "Rut" Rutherford of Team Never Quit (@Team_neverquit) join us to talk about how you don't have to be in the military to develop the discipline necessary to reach your goals. The Cheat Sheet: How did Marcus Luttrell summon the strength to survive the ordeal he describes in his book (and in the movie) Lone Survivor? What mental practices do Navy SEALs use to block distraction and stay focused on the task at hand? Being the elite of the elite, do Navy SEALs ever suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you keep traumatic events from completely defining you? Will we be the guys who don't screw up an interview with Marcus Luttrell? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use

Derek Coburn (@cadredc) returns to the show to share more of his un-networking secrets. He is a master networker and author of Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections. The Cheat Sheet: Why is indifference one of the largest obstacles in business today? Do you feel like the time you spend networking for new relationships might be better spent on enhancing existing relationships? Understand the power of unlocking dormant ties. Learn how to get the most out of networking events. Host networking events as a way to offer value to the people you already know and work with. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses c

Oliver Burkeman, author of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking, joins us for this Minisode Monday to talk about how the relentless pursuit of goals can figuratively -- and in some cases literally -- kill us. The Cheat Sheet: Popular beliefs about goal setting strategies may do more harm than good. The overpursuit of goals can, in extreme cases, kill. Case in point: the 1996 Mount Everest Disaster as detailed by D. Christopher Kayes in his book Destructive Goal Pursuit: The Mt. Everest Disaster. Why being completely identified with a goal (like a mountain climber or arctic explorer) can make us charge ahead when all signs are really telling us to turn back or regroup. As an alternative to this approach, Oliver urges us toward a looser, more flexible conception of goals -- like a frog on a lily pad. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #87! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you balance your need to find the best career fit with being transparent to the people who believed in you from the get-go? Should you stick with your company that won't promote you unless you get an advanced degree -- even though you've been there for years and believe your experience should count for something? After years of substance abuse and hitting rock bottom, you're now on track to getting your life back. But what do you do when your negative family keeps judging you for mistakes of the past in spite of having a good relationship and excellent grades? How can you successfully manage your relationships at work without getting too involved in the gossip that prevails there? What do you do when you're an actor and your significant other freaks out at the prospect of your inevitable romantic scenes? A quick shou

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) has ways of making you talk! If you want to know how to keep a conversation going and avoid the awkward calm that sometimes besets even the most animated of chats, you'll want to dip into the toolbox for this one. [Image of awkward conversation captured by Kyle Taylor] The Cheat Sheet: The best conversationalists are the best listeners. What do you do when you run out of things to say in a conversation? Learn how to lessen the crushing pressure of being interesting by focusing on being interested. Understand how to stay tuned in to the conversation by picking up on often-ignored (but crucially important) nonverbal cues. Banish meaningless small talk and learn how to ask questions that build rapport and natural conversation. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get

Dan Ariely (@danariely) is a behavioral economist and bestselling author of Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions and the upcoming Payoff: The Hidden Logic That Shapes Our Motivations. The Cheat Sheet: How does the What the Hell effect keep us making bad decisions even when we know they're bad? Are we ever truly rational, unbiased, or impartial? What's the best time to appear before a judge? Transparency in our lives can often backfire. How motivation works (and doesn't work) and how we can use our own psychology against ourselves. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with

In this Minisode Monday, recent guest Jenny Blake, author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One, helps us separate difficult decisions from difficult conversations and handle both of these to get unstuck and move forward. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're at a pivot point, about to make a big career decision, what is your gut instinct telling you about what you really want? Most of us have a sense of what would help us get unstuck, but we're afraid to proceed when the time comes. Are we afraid of the decision itself, or the difficult conversations surrounding the decision once made? Here, Jenny gives us some level-headed advice about how to get unstuck and make sure we proceed with the decision we really want to make instead of the decision that will just help us avoid awkward conversations. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive h

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: At this point, if you aren't aware there's an election going on this November in the United States until a celebrity or your favorite podcast (ahem) tells you about it, maybe you should just sit this one out? Robert Cialdini's Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion was exactly that for Jordan growing up -- an influence. But was it also an inoculation? (Incidentally, you should check out our episode with Robert Cialdini here!) If you're always the one reaching out to friends and family, is it wrong to feel ticked off when they don't check up on you now that you've moved away? Related listening from the AoC toolbox: Moving to a New Town (Episode 400) A listener asks last week's Passion or Paycheck question: "Can't you do both?" When the dynamic in a casual relationship changes, it's easy to wonder what caused it. It's harder to ide

Jon Levy (@JonLevyTLB) is a behavior scientist who studies influence and adventure. He returns to the show to talk about his latest book, The 2 AM Principle: Discover The Science of Adventure. The Cheat Sheet: What is adventure and why should we seek it out? Learn the four stages of any adventure. What it takes to filter the right people into your circle. How to politely cut ties with the wrong people. Breaking self-imposed limitations in our lives. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Int

Kevin Kelly (@kevin2kelly) is the founding editor of Wired magazine and, most recently, author of The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future. The Cheat Sheet: Technology is an extension of the natural process of evolution. What's driving technology; what will the future look like? Why Artificial Intelligence (AI) is the biggest thing since electricity. Ways humanity will interact with future technology and AI -- and how it will change our lives in ways we can scarcely imagine. How technology will actually make us better humans. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Clay Hebert joins us to talk about what makes a perfect day, month, or year and working backwards to make this happen. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Whatever motivates you toward action -- no matter how lame someone else might think your methods -- is fair game. Think of what a perfect day looks like to you. For Seth Godin, it's being home by a certain time every night to cook dinner for his family -- and he builds the rest of his day toward that goal. Design a day with structures that support what makes it perfect for you. Eliminate, automate, and outsource the hitches that disrupt perfection wherever possible. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let u