The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache author Susan Winter rejoins us to answer a couple of questions that were addressed to her and help with our usual assortment of email in this Fan Mail Friday. Let's get to it! In this episode: Should a broken relationship be mended when the primary glue is guilt? It says more about the people who have cheated on you in multiple relationships than it does about you when you're always faithful and loving. But maybe you should review your selection process. Is there help for an attention craver who knowingly jeopardizes relationships by habitually flirting with strangers? Let's unpack the relationship exit strategy idea we talked about in Susan's episode and never got around to finishing (sorry)! How do you get over the jealousy you feel when your partner brings up past sexual exploits with other people? Is it possible to set new boundaries in a relationship (especially a marriage) once old ones have been established? Quick shoutouts to psychologist Linda and Lyft driver S

Dr. Travis Bradberry (@talentsmarteq) is the award-winning co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the co-founder of TalentSmart, the world's number one provider of emotional intelligence tests and training. The Cheat Sheet: You may know your IQ (intelligence quotient), but do you know your EQ (emotional quotient)? Unlike IQ, which tends to stay the same throughout life, emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Emotional Intelligence is determined by self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. You may test with a lower EQ score than you'd like -- just ask Jordan and Jason. This only means you've got an easier map directing you toward what you should improve first. Why might you be calmly efficacious in life-or-death situations but freak out when faced with The Guacamole Problem? And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo des

Peter Diamandis (@PeterDiamandis) is the founder of the XPRIZE Foundation and co-author of Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World and Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think. The Cheat Sheet: What does the future hold for human longevity, space colonization, artificial intelligence, and beyond? How can we adapt -- individually and as a society -- to deal with increased automation in the workforce? What is linear thinking and why does it cause us to miss the mark when coping with technology, innovation, and the advancement of the human race? If you don't know your calling in life, your calling in life is to discover what that is. What experiments can kids curious about science do that won't get them put on a no-fly list for the foreseeable future? And so much more... Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Does your business have an Internet presence?

In this Minisode Monday, we talk about how gratitude may be a buzz word you're tired of hearing about, but it's a fact: people appreciate being appreciated. Here's why we should be showing gratitude for the things others do for us now rather than later. The Cheat Sheet: Far from being a woo sentiment, gratitude is a powerful motivator. We often take the little things people do for us for granted. What would happen if we started showing appreciation for them? A little kindness doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Think of ways you can thank people who warrant gratitude -- the more immediate, the better. Even a Post-it note on your coworker's computer screen thanking them for the donut they brought you this morning will be appreciated. Try to overcome whatever weird feeling you may have about expressing gratitude toward someone you don't talk to very often. This, too, will be appreciated. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARME

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listen to hours of personal growth podcasts like The Art of Charm every day, how can you be sure that you're not just wasting your time consuming all this information for nothing? A long-time listener tells us why he recently unsubscribed. Jordan shares another one of his shady teenage exploits. You'll always have to compromise in relationships, but you won't have to settle. If you've been in a relationship for a little over a year, is it a red flag if neither of you have brought up the "L" word? Quick shoutouts to Tristan in Lviv, Ukraine and Will Bezbatchenko in Kyrgyzstan! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natu

Jocelyn K. Glei (@jkglei) is a writer who is obsessed with how we can find more creativity and meaning in our daily work. Her latest book is Unsubscribe: How to Kill Email Anxiety, Avoid Distractions, and Get Real Work Done. The Cheat Sheet: Do you spend 30-40 percent of your work week managing email? Learn why email is a random rewards system and why it's so addictive. Understand why checking email feels so productive when you're not actually doing anything useful. How does email act as a weird form of kryptonite when it comes to social interactions? Discover why we need to let go of the idea of inbox zero. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! With pain-free invoicing, Fres

Michael Breus (@thesleepdoctor) is a clinical psychologist, board-certified sleep specialist, and author of The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype -- and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More. The Cheat Sheet: Do you live with an undiagnosed sleep disorder? Evolution suggests such disorders are becoming increasingly common. Anybody who has over a 17 and-a-half inch neck has about an 82% chance of having sleep apnea. And 56% of people at some point during an average week will have a bad night's sleep. Why do some people tackle the world best as early birds while others are more effective as night owls? What's your chronotype: are you a lion, a bear, a wolf, or a dolphin? Learn how living according to your own chronotype can make dramatic improvements to your life in as little as a week (even if your significant other's chronotype doesn't match yours). And so much more... A gift from the heart is always worth giving -- like farm-to-table and artisa

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, guest and To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others author Daniel Pink rejoins us to talk about using processing fluency -- particularly through rhymes -- to get our message to stick. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The more memorable your message is, the more likely it is to have the desired effect. Studies have found rhyming to be one of the most powerful ways of of conveying information. Rhyming increases processing fluency -- that is, "how easy it is to understand the message and help it go down," explains Daniel Pink. "Things that increase processing fluency [such as rhyming] are often believed at a deeper level." Along with rhyming, alliteration and repetition increase processing fluency. Put it to the test. See how you can slip this technique into everyday conversation without sounding like Dr. S

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: When you start your own business, how do you help the people around you understand what you're doing? [Related: Clay Hebert | The Perfect Intro (Episode 555) and AoC Toolbox | Perfecting Your Elevator Pitch (Episode 550)] Do you bear some responsibility for allowing psychopaths or sociopaths into your life? Do you ever find yourself struggling with the tension of vision, effort, and drive while maintaining and earning any form of confidence? [Related: Oliver Burkeman | The Antidote to Positive Thinking (Episode 556)] When and how should you respond to public criticism -- especially when it may have an impact on your job? On white privilege, babies, bathwater, and, if not universal truths, then universal hunches based on perspectives intrinsic to the meat suits in which we reside. Most documentaries Jordan comes across seem to have

Jonathan Fields (@jonathanfields) is a dad, husband, entrepreneur, and award-winning author -- most recently of How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom. The Cheat Sheet: How do we make sure we're not overextending ourselves in some areas of our lives while neglecting others? A good life is more about meaning than happiness -- happiness is a byproduct. What's the Good Life Bucket model, and how can we apply it to our own lives? Learn how to break out of autopilot and live a more reactive life that gives back in proportion to what you put into it. Take the Snapshot360 Quiz to discover how your buckets of vitality, connection, and contribution currently score (and how you can improve them). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Learn ove

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) talks about imposter syndrome and how to cope with the feeling you'll be uncovered as a fraud for being unworthy of what you've worked hard to achieve. [Photo by xmith xmith] The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you've gotten undeserved reward or recognition from accomplishing something -- and it's just a matter of time before someone uncovers you for the fraud you are? This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome. Almost everyone experiences this at some point -- but it's especially prevalent among high-performers. Imposter syndrome is often suffered silently, because the person experiencing it usually doesn't realize it's not unique to them and that there's a name for it. What lesson can The Ramones teach us about overcoming imposter syndrome? Learn why keeping a journal helps remind us of what we've achieved when we're in doubt of our credentials. And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. We all have emotional buttons that set us off for some reason or another. But we don't have to be at their mercy if we understand where they come from and what they're trying to tell us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The emotional buttons that set us off aren't logical, but they can be identified and defused logically. These emotional buttons are most easily pressed by those who are closest to us. They know how to push them because they're the ones who helped install them in the first place! The root cause of why these emotional buttons are so powerful is due to one of two things: it calls attention to something that's partially true and bothers us about ourselves, or it's contrary to one of our core values and it offends us deeply. This week, try to observe what emotional buttons are most easily triggered and try to determine which of

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What is Jordan's background in law enforcement? Some listener feedback for Troubled in Tennessee from Fan Mail Friday #94 by someone who's been there before. Why don't we cover business and fitness topics more often? How do we offer grief support to others in a way that serves them best? (Thanks to the LifeProTips subreddit for help with this one.) A listener of shorter stature worries that he's taken on a small personality. A couple of questions about cultural identity in the United States. Quick shoutouts to PJ and Jameel Kassouri! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use

Mind Pump (@MindPump) hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano talk podcast shop, communication, business, the changing face of courtship, and more with Jordan in this longer format conversational episode. The Cheat Sheet: How does Jordan bottle his own special brand of podcast magic when a good interview at The Art of Charm runs longer than anticipated? What do your good friends really mean when they tell you to "just be yourself?" What does a day at AoC residential Bootcamp look like (and why are women coached separately)? What are the most common pitfalls that ruin new relationships, and how has courtship changed since the '70s? Do you keep forgetting about all those nonverbal communication skills whenever you're actually mingling in the real world? Learn the Doorway Drill to convey confidence as an automatic habit. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! If you're only going to take

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. This is the second part of a two-part series (check out part one here). The Cheat Sheet: Why is "no" the end of the discussion for a man, but the beginning of a negotiation for a woman in our culture? Understand why you should be wary of the unsolicited promise. Should we try to join our intuition to our intellect, or do the two work better on their own? Learn the difference between worry and fear -- why worrying is ultimately useless while fear can save your life. Try the Rule of Opposites exercise to calibrate your intuition in the moment. And so much more... Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Wearing a styli

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. As much as we might wish otherwise, personal growth isn't a comfortable process. AppSumo and OkDork's Noah Kagan rejoins us for this Minisode Monday to talk about how we can at least make sure it's a good discomfort rather than a bad discomfort. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: In order to grow, you have to step outside of your comfort zone. Not all discomfort is guaranteed to help you grow. Learn to tell the difference between the "good" discomfort that teaches you valuable lessons and "bad" discomfort that puts you through some kind of an ordeal without benefiting you in any way. Noah compares eating so much food that you can barely waddle away from the dinner table (bad discomfort) to going for a seven-mile walk with a good friend that results in sore legs -- but stronger muscles and better endurance -- and excellent conversation (good

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listened to our recent episode with Darya Rose, you understand the importance of creating good habits without having to fall back on willpower. But where do you begin? More feedback on jealousy in response to the actress whose boyfriend has trouble with her romantic scenes, and advice given by another listener. While listening to our most recent episode with Susan Winter about breakups, a listener who recently went through a breakup was prompted to write in for advice about getting back into the dating game. The catch: she has HSV and dreads the responsibility of telling potential new partners. A casual relationship had to hit the brakes because your partner's mother passed away. It's a few months later and you want to pick up where you left off. How do you know if the other person's ready -- and what should you do if they'

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) rejoins the show to discuss how we often label the other person in a relationship as "the crazy one" and why we need to examine where we land on the narcissistic continuum. Linda is a therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love. The Cheat Sheet: After a painful breakup, have you ever casually referred to the estranged party as your "crazy ex?" It's common to chalk up the strains of complex human dynamics as the results of someone else's mental disorder when we want to avoid taking personal responsibility for them -- and this is dangerous. While a real narcissist is hard to find, we all land somewhere on the narcissistic continuum. Learn what we can do if we think we or someone we know and love might be in a relationship with a narcissist -- or even be one. Understand the difference between being a true narcissist and exhibiting narcissistic qualities. And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the bes

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. The Cheat Sheet: Violence is a reality -- if you're not prepared for its possibility, you'll be caught off guard by its eventuality. Learn how to hone your sixth sense for danger. Discover how to spot the red flags that signify someone as a likely abuser, con artist, or predator. How can technology paired with human intuition protect us from people who mean us harm? How literal is the term "gut feeling?" And so much more... If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wea

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Last time he was on the podcast, Jon Acuff shared something he called the notecard exercise for people who wonder how to find good mentors. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Gather a big stack of 3×5 cards. You're going to write down one person per notecard. [00:43] Ask yourself these questions. [00:52] You'll probably end up with a huge stack of cards -- or, at the very least, a good starting point. [01:31] The purpose of this exercise is to illustrate that you have so many options that don't often come to mind, and now you've got some contacts to get the ball rolling. [02:00] You can also arrange the cards on a board and reach out to your contacts one by one to see what unfolds. [02:18] To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to c