The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about an easy, everyday habit you can cultivate to renew contact with old acquaintances (lest they -- and you -- be forgot)! Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Every single day, text one or two people with whom you haven't spoken in a while. If you use social media: As guest David Burkus recommended when he was on the show: use your newsfeed. Instead of merely "liking" something about which your old acquaintance is posting on social media, send a text or email. If you don't use social media, open your phone's text messaging app and scroll all the way down -- the people at the bottom are the ones you haven't spoken to in ages. Greet them with a sentence or two to let them know you're thinking of them, and make it clear a return response isn't required. Let us know how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! T

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you deal with a toxic co-worker who happens to be related to the owner of the company? How does public speaking differ between salespeople and teachers? Listener thoughts on destigmatizing misophonia. Finding the right fit when changing jobs is always a gamble, but you always have this option. Feedback from our IRS agent friend from FMF 125: "Listening instead of thinking ahead" is a work in progress. What do you tell the family of judgmental Ivy Leaguers about the break you took from college when you were pretending to be there all along? Documentary of the Week: The Internet's Own Boy: The Story of Aaron Swartz Quick shoutouts to Ian Fischer in Senegal and Kyle Schaffer in China! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofC

Mark Divine (@MarkDivine) is a former Navy SEAL Commander, SEALFIT founder, and author of Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level. The Cheat Sheet: Why would a blueblood CPA decide to leave the family business and become a Navy SEAL? What does "Earn your trident every day" mean to a Navy SEAL? How can anyone -- from doctors and lawyers to mothers and students -- benefit from training mental toughness like a Navy SEAL? How does someone stuck within the rut of a horizontal skillset switch to ascending a vertical skillset? Why you don't have to be born with the warrior spirit -- it can be taught to you if you're willing to learn. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/646/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fa

Richard Clarke (@ghsrm) is the former National Coordinator for Security, Infrastructure Protection, and Counter-Terrorism for the United States, and is the co-author of Warnings: Finding Cassandras to Stop Catastrophes. "When you're a bureaucrat -- an unelected official -- it's not a popularity contest. You don't have to be popular; you just have to get the job done." -Richard Clarke The Cheat Sheet: What is the Cassandra Coefficient? Discover how to use the Cassandra Coefficient to filter signal from noise when it comes to warnings. Understand how to spot our own cognitive biases and what we can do to diminish their effect on our decisions. Learn to persuade people to see things from our perspective and motivate them to take action. Find out what someone at the top levels of government does when their personal politics don't agree with those of the current administration. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/645/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast he

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind author Dr. Srini Pillay rejoins us to talk about how we can benefit from the seemingly meandering path of dabbling to unlock creativity and make useful connections between disparate interests. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you're only looking forward and focusing on a task you've set out to tackle, your brain is only using a small portion of its resources. To access the rest, understand the power of dabbling. We need regular distractions from our primary course of action -- like hobbies. If you engage in a hobby for one hour a day, you can prolong life and protect your brain from dementia. Hobbies also trigger the brain's unfocused mode, which activates your creative circuits and helps you make connections you might otherwise miss. It was by this dabbling that Steve Jo

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible you carry yourself in a way that raises red flags for social gatekeepers? A party is not a dissertation defense. What would be a better career path than mechanic for someone with a natural skillset with people? Why don't we have the same sponsors as other shows? #VanLife: It turns out living in a van down by the river isn't just for Chris Farley anymore. But is it for you? [Related: Episode 557 with Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists] Jordan performs spoken word: If the Man in the Mirror Documentary of the Week: Jiro Dreams of Sushi Quick shoutouts to Joshua Henry -- who plays Aaron Burr on the Hamilton tour -- and Dr. Jerry Altman on a medical mission in Hawassa, Ethiopia! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Check out Jordan's (@Th

Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) is a Russian chess grandmaster, political activist, and author of Deep Thinking: Where Machine Intelligence Ends and Human Creativity Begins and Winter Is Coming: Why Vladimir Putin and the Enemies of the Free World Must Be Stopped. The Cheat Sheet: The part chess played in promoting Soviet Russian ideology during the Cold War. What it takes to become a chess champion now compared to 50 years ago and why Garry considers the game "one of the most aggressive forces of psychological warfare." What can and can't be applied from chess to politics and decision making. What Garry knows from experience about authoritarian governments and why we need to be vigilant against them now more than ever. Is our civilization poised for progress or ruin now that supercomputers can beat superhumans at tournament-level chess? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/644/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Getting a business loan is now fast

Srini Pillay (@srinipillay) is a world renowned, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, former Director of the Outpatient Anxiety Disorders Program at McLean Hospital, and author of Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind. "Most of us spend about 46.9 percent of our days daydreaming anyway. So why not learn to unfocus in a more productive way?" -Srini Pillay The Cheat Sheet: When 90-98 percent of mental activity is unconscious, focus can only get you so far. How focus and unfocus work in the brain. How positive constructive daydreaming helps us become more creative. Why doodling can improve memory by 29 percent. Discover the concept of possibility thinking for solving seemingly intractable problems. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/643/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Tr

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we discuss how going just a little out of your way to make someone else's day better has more mileage than any minor inconvenience you may experience in that fleeting moment. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: It's easy to ignore small tasks that someone else usually takes care of. But what happens when we take a minor detour from our own routine to help lighten someone else's load? As we soon discover, doing the hard thing isn't usually that hard. As Jocko Willink might agree, this is a form of taking ownership (though perhaps not as extreme as some of his own examples). Doing small favors takes little effort, but results in big appreciation. Find an opportunity to go above and beyond this week -- whether it's cleaning up after a clumsy pet, washing the dishes, or sweeping the neighbor's walkway -- doing the hard thing is

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you gracefully address the one guy in your group who constantly tries to dominate the conversation? Some feedback for our listener from FMF 122 about coping with a suicidal ex. Who the heck is this AJ character? A listener moving to China to teach English asks for advice from others in the AoC community who have done the same; Jordan shares his method for learning new languages. What if your misophonia goes to 11? No matter how bad your situation, just remember that someone, somewhere, has got it worse. But it's also not a contest. Documentary(ish movie) of the Week: Rosewater Quick shoutouts to Rachel Starr and Rob! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show

Lynn Lyons (@lynnlyonsmsw) has been a psychotherapist for 27 years and is the co-author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children and its companion book, Playing with Anxiety: Casey's Guide for Teens and Kids. "If you're uncertain and uncomfortable, you're probably on a good path to some sort of discovery or success or meeting some challenge that's in front of you." -Lynn Lyons The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between anxiety and worry? Why the content of what we worry about is far less important than the process of how worry operates. Anxiety, worry, and depression are all fueled by the predictable and redundant processes of global, catastrophic, and permanent thinking. Why the more we adhere to the demands of anxiety, the stronger that anxiety becomes. How to shift out of the current frame that seeks to eliminate discomfort, worry, and uncertainty and instead develop a relationship with it. And so much more... Full show notes at ht

Daniel Levitin (@danlevitin) is a cognitive psychologist, neuroscientist, musician, record producer, and author of Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era. "Your brain clings tenaciously to beliefs that it's held, even when the evidence has been found to be bogus or untrue." -Daniel Levitin The Cheat Sheet: The most important quality for anyone who wants to be an evidence-based, critical thinker. Why even society's smartest people fall victim to misinformation. The first step to making good decisions. How to dismantle bad arguments on the fly. Why we need to look beyond averages when making a case. And so much more... Full show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/641/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by usin

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time we examine why being an amateur sometimes works to your advantage when you're tackling a problem that all the experts say is unsolvable. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're an amateur trying to solve a problem, you don't know what doesn't work. Contrast this with an expert who approaches that same problem as someone who usually has all the answers. When an expert is stumped, the problem remains unsolved. But the amateur, not knowing any better, can often approach the problem from an angle the expert never even considered. Where repetition numbs the expert, an amateur's relative incompetence begets innovation. Call it beginner's luck if you like, but no matter how new you are to the banquet, you've probably got something to bring to the table. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Ch

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you being overprotective, or does your sibling need more help than you can offer? How should a personal trainer respond to someone who wonders if they're obese -- without giving them a fat prescription of excusamine? How does a relative unknown in the entertainment industry hungry for meatier projects successfully network with bigger names who are harder to reach? [Related: The AoC Social Capital Program] How can an aspiring attorney be poised for legal opportunities related to cryptocurrency in the years ahead? Can someone learn to be less defensive? Documentary of the Week: Get Me Roger Stone Quick shoutout to the ladies over at the HQ of the American Cancer Society! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to talk some sense into us about first love fantasies, knowing the difference between good and bad relationship advice, and why she considers the concept of closure a myth. "Falling in love is not about relationship compatibility." -Linda Carroll The Cheat Sheet: Breaking away from first love fantasies. Why falling out of love is not a reason to leave a relationship. Four good reasons to leave a relationship. The myth of closure. What we can do to move on from a relationship that's ended. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/640/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard Ab

Jay Mohr (@jaymohr37) is a comedian, actor, Emmy nominee, bestselling author, and host of Mohr Sports from Los Angeles and Mohr Stories. "Desperation has a very distinct scent." -Jay Mohr The Cheat Sheet: How Jay Mohr dealt with panic attacks while working on Saturday Night Live (and how panic differs from fear). Jay's secrets to being a better impressionist. What it's like to start out as a stand-up comic at age 16. The power of sincerity and real storytelling in comedy. How Jay copes with imposter syndrome. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/639/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, friend and former guest Cole Hatter of Thrive (September 29th-October 1st, 2017 in Las Vegas -- use promo code AOC at checkout for a big, big discount if you're planning on going) joins us to explain how we can ensure we're making the best decisions by using absolute truths to guide us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: We're all the products of our decisions -- so how do we ensure we're making the right decisions that will benefit us in the long run? Create absolute truths -- core values or beliefs -- in relationships, career, health, and spirituality. These absolute truths act as compasses toward which we align our decisions. Acknowledge which of these two types of decisions we're making: inconsequential or defining moments. When you come to a defining moment, ask: a) What are my options? and b) What are the poss

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does the conversation often move on before you've had the time to formulate a response? Is the perfectionist inside of you too restless to enjoy how good you've really got it? How can you tell legitimate coaches apart from the money-grubbing shysters? Do you consume so much information that it's hard to make any of it stick? How can you become better at thinking on your feet in considering counter-arguments and debating your position in the moment? Why doesn't Jordan sound like he's from Michigan? What's the best way to deal with a "friend" who can't be happy for your successes? Documentaries of the week: Get Me Roger Stone and Happy People: A Year in the Taiga. Quick shoutouts to Dr. Freda Tyson in DC and Marie Saint-Pierre from Montreal! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at frid

Bill Nye (@billnye) is a lifelong champion of science who is determined to teach you something today that you didn't know yesterday -- whether it's from a television screen or next to you at a dinner party. His latest series is Bill Nye Saves the World on Netflix, and his most recent book is Everything All at Once: How to Unleash Your Inner Nerd, Tap Into Radical Curiosity, and Solve Any Problem. The Cheat Sheet: Why denying proven science -- like climate change and the efficacy of vaccination -- is in nobody's best interest. On reinvention and pivoting: How Bill Nye went from Boeing engineer to television personality. Why episodes of Bill Nye The Science Guy are still being used to teach kids science two decades after they first aired. How to look at the world with radical curiosity. Why it's key to internalize our fears in order to move forward. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/637/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Betterment is the larg

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Never let it be said that The Art of Charm would discourage you from being the best you can be. But have you considered the merits of lowering the bar? Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Setting your bar for success too high can result in the opposite of the desired effect. Rather than putting yourself in the path of a disempowering emotional state, consider the merits of lowering the bar. Focusing on goals that are far away or can only be experienced in a distant (or alternative) future means we never really experience rewards for our efforts. Instead of saying something like, "I'll be happy when I'm thin and muscular," say, "I'll be happy when I go to the gym." Immediately achievable goals set by a lower bar are far more effective in getting you to your desired target emotion than the cycle of failure triggered by a bar set too high. To l