The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Dorie Clark (@dorieclark) is a marketing strategist, adjunct professor of business administration at Duke University's Fuqua School of Business, and author -- most recently of Entrepreneurial You: Monetize Your Expertise, Create Multiple Income Streams, and Thrive. The Cheat Sheet: How Dorie Clark basically won a Grammy for networking. Why it's better to optimize for the interesting instead of prioritizing an income level. How to build a career out of what might seem like disparate pieces of expertise and experience rather than focusing on just one thing. Why we don't make money from something -- we make money because of it. Why pursuing entrepreneurial ambitions isn't just for the fulfillment of some dreamy fantasy, but a means of survival in the modern workforce. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/657/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With Thrive Market, you get your favorite premium, organic, non-GMO products delivered to your door at who

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we examine how even the negative emotions we experience originate as positive intentions on behalf of our subconscious brain -- and how we might use this knowledge to understand and better process them. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Our subconscious communicates with our conscious mind using emotions. Every emotion, no matter how unpleasant, has a positive intent. Sometimes the connection between what we feel and why we feel it isn't obvious. This week, any time you experience a negative emotion, stop for a second and try to connect the dots -- imagine what the positive intention your subconscious brain is trying to communicate might be. Once we determine the positive intent, we can take the proper action to truly process this emotion. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm C

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. This week, Kimberly Seltzer joins Jordan and Jason to set your questions right and help you course correct. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do we cut off relationships with addicts when they're so good at making us feel sorry for them? Your good friend's significant other is a disrespectful, bossy mismatch, and it's obvious to everyone in your social group but him. Is there a way to hang out with him without her? When both partners in a long-term relationship have partaken of infidelities, can trust ever truly be regained between them? On paper, you seem to have your act together -- you maintain fitness, you have a good job, and you're friendly and outgoing. So why aren't you getting second dates or approached in real life by potential suitors? How do you help your best friend of 13 years maintain a healthy mental life and not get sore over his rebuffing of

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) trio of Johnny, AJ, and Jordan talk about the four components of a first impression that begin even before the first words are exchanged: static, dynamic, self-presentation, and circumstance. "You can't become a positive blip on someone's radar if they can't see you." -AJ Harbinger The Cheat Sheet: There are four components that go into making a first impression before first words are even exchanged. Static: This is your physique and the exercise, nutrition, and sleep that go into maintaining it. Dynamic: Your body language and not only what it communicates to others, but how it affects the way you feel about yourself. Self-Presentation: What you wear, how you wear it, and the grooming that demonstrates at least a basic understanding of style and hygiene. Circumstance: Where you spend your time and with whom you choose to spend it. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/656/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With

Roger Stone (@RogerJStoneJr) is a political consultant, lobbyist, and strategist, subject of Netflix's Get Me Roger Stone documentary, and author of The Making of the President 2016: How Donald Trump Orchestrated a Revolution. "One man's dirty trick is another man's civic participation." -Roger Stone The Cheat Sheet: Is Roger Stone a bona fide agent provocateur? How Roger Stone pulled a Frank Underwood by usurping power from the president of his class as a junior in high school. How is politics more about addition than subtraction? What are Stone's Rules, and how do they influence our current political landscape? Is Roger Stone an equal opportunity character assassin? On what issues might he diverge from others of a conservative leaning? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/655/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with runni

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. When you agree to meet with someone for the first time -- whether it's over coffee to discuss a startup idea or over martinis for recruitment to your counterintelligence team -- you should be prepared. The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert's Five Rules to Lead and Succeed author Robin Dreeke rejoins us to share some of his strategies for first meetings. If you like what you hear here, make sure to check out our full show with Robin here. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Know their generation. The time in which we grow up informs how we see the world. Baby boomers have a very different point of reference from millennials. Keep a truth. Robin wears a Darth Vader watch -- a prop that has authentic meaning to him and tends to spark conversation. It "builds affiliation through a commonality," he says. Let them choose the ti

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How's a college kid expected to get a date without owning a sweet ride? Okay, okay. So dogs don't exactly see the world in black and white. Are the two toughest things in sobriety romance and finance? Fun fact we just made up: the average Colombian is into cocaine like the average American is into ballet. We helped a listener -- who paid attention to our networking and body language episodes -- ace his job interview! Afraid the check you want to cash from your deadbeat relative is going to bounce? Here's one strategy to make sure you get what you're owed without hassle. Do we have any tips for retaining and getting the most out of all the knowledge we drop on you almost every day? Documentary of the Week: Sour Grapes A quick shoutout to X and Y! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line a

Admiral William H. McRaven (@billmcraven) masterminded and executed the mission that brought down Osama bin Laden and is the author of Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World. "Opportunities, to me, are always the jobs that nobody else wants." -Admiral William H. McRaven The Cheat Sheet: What are the benefits to taking every day, as a Navy SEAL might say, "one evolution at a time?" What are the potential downfalls of having a 20-year plan? Why is taking advantage of opportunities more important than charting a course -- and how can we spot them? What are you proving when you're willing to take professional risks -- even when you don't succeed? What is the most important thing to understand about leadership? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/654/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here!

Robin Dreeke (@rdreeke) is a 28-year veteran of federal service, former head of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, and co-author of The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert's Five Rules to Lead and Succeed. "You can be the most brilliant person on the face of the earth with the most amazing skills, but if you can't develop relationships and have trust, you're completely worthless." -Robin Dreeke The Cheat Sheet: Learn the Code of Trust's five principles and how they help us build rapport. Understand the difference between manipulation and trust. Discover why trustworthy people always rise to the top. Find out how to get others to open up and connect with us -- spy style. Recognize why real leaders put the needs of others before their own -- and don't keep a score card. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/653/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freela

This Minisode Monday, we try an exercise designed to make you consider the importance of perspective and useful illusions: how does your pet see the world? The Cheat Sheet: As we've learned from conversations with David Eagleman, Isaac Lidsky, and Jason Silva, reality differs by how it is perceived. If that sounds like woo-woo nonsense, try to consider how the world with which you interact every day is experienced by others. If you were to gain the magical ability to ask a dog, a cat, and a dust mite to describe the world around them, what kind of answers would you expect? The dog sees in black and white. The cat would strongly advocate for the safety of tiny boxes and high places. The dust mite's entire world might be the inside of your mattress -- something with which you interact every day, but have probably never seen (unless you really need a new mattress). The version of the world you would describe back to them would be just as varied, biased, flawed, and seemingly inaccurate. Though biased and flawed

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Can a relationship between a teetotaler and someone who enjoys the company of spirits endure? How does an immigrant high schooler make friends when they're the only representative of their homeland and none of the existing cliques seem open to new membership? How do you tell your churchgoing family and friends that you're really more spiritual than religious? What can you do to alleviate that weird face you always make when someone throws you a little too much eye contact for comfort? Is there such a thing as an appropriate way to hit on customers when you're working behind a counter? How can a committed vegetarian or vegan avoid coming off as condescending or making people feel like they have to defend themselves? Documentary of the Week: Banking on Bitcoin Quick shoutouts to Amal in Djibouti and Aaron D! Have any questions, comm

Daniel McGinn (@danmcginn) is a senior editor at Harvard Business Review, and the author of Psyched Up: How the Science of Mental Preparation Can Help You Succeed. The Cheat Sheet: How elite athletes and professionals deploy techniques to boost confidence, reduce anxiety, and optimize energy in preparation for high performance. Why superstition and rituals can actually improve your performance. How to combat pre-performance nerves with music and your own personal "highlight reel." How we can learn to reframe and channel the jitters into the juice that makes us move forward that much faster. Getting psyched up doesn't have to cause a scene; it can be a quiet, internal process. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/652/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Today, over a million people use the amazing Ring video doorbell to help protect their homes. Save up to $150 off a Ring of Security kit when you go to ring.com/charm! Learn over 500 subjects (no t

Frank Sesno (@franksesno) is an award-winning journalist with more than 30 years of experience, and the author of Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change. "If you want to confront a problem, you have to go looking for it -- and cannot avert your eyes when you find it." -Frank Sesno The Cheat Sheet: Knowing how to ask good questions is a springboard to understanding others and making better connections. Why we should think of our line of questioning as a diet -- and ensure that it's balanced. Which of eleven categories of questions we should ask (e.g. diagnostic, empathetic, strategic, creative, etc.) when we seek a certain outcome. How to get through to people who don't want to connect -- and build trust and rapport in the process. What it means to maintain intimate distance when questioning someone -- and how it allows us to really listen to what they're trying to tell us. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/651/ Find out more about t

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. When something goes wrong in our lives, sometimes we fixate on its emotional impact -- how it makes us feel in the moment -- rather than what difference it will make in the long run (which may be minimal). Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind author Dr. Srini Pillay shows us how to control this emotional feedback with the CIRCA mnemonic. Make sure to check out his entire episode: The Power of the Unfocused Mind, and his other Minisode Monday:  Dabbling: Not Just for Dilettantes! The Cheat Sheet: When something goes wrong in your life, ask yourself: is this important, or just traumatic? We can gauge this by using the CIRCA mnemonic. C: Chunking. Break down the problem into its component parts; solve it over a period of time. I: Ignore mental chatter. Observe your thoughts; don't become your thoughts. R: Reality c

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Here's an example of advertising selling only emotion because the product itself truly lacks value. Best man duties are an honor, but they can be stressful. Here's our advice for handling them with grace and...charm. Learning to run your own business doesn't have to be a sink or swim proposition if you start it as a side hustle to your main job. Do you understand the difference between complicated and complex tasks? Suffer from misophonia? There's a Facebook support group! Some listener perspectives on excusamine (as discussed in FMF 126). Would you choose to make $50,000 when your coworkers make 25,000, or $100,000 when your coworkers make $200,000? How does someone approach dating when they find themselves deviating from social norms in many ways? How long should you give a new job a chance before deciding it's not what you sign

General Ann Dunwoody (@AnnDunwoody) grew up as an Army brat in a family with four generations of West Pointers, became the first female four-star general in the US, and is the author of A Higher Standard: Leadership Strategies from America's First Female Four-Star General. "Good leaders never stop learning." -General Ann Dunwoody The Cheat Sheet: Why it's important to never walk by a mistake -- unless you want to set a new, lower standard. Why keeping a higher standard is not just personally gratifying, but economically viable. Why good leaders aren't invincible -- and don't try to be. How to leverage advocates and attractors for the benefit of all. What organizations lose by ignoring the power of diversity -- and why it's not just "a PC thing." And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/650/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes wi

Rob Reid (@Rob_Reid) is a tech entrepreneur (Listen.com, Rhapsody), early-stage tech investor, and author of New York Times Bestseller Year Zero: A Novel and, most recently, After On: A Novel of Silicon Valley. "The passage of time makes wizards of us all." -Rob Reid The Cheat Sheet: How Rob Reid excelled in two vastly different fields: as a tech entrepreneur and a sci-fi author. How society is being reshaped by the tech curve. Futurisms like AI and synthetic biology. A great mindset for approaching interactions with others that maximizes value and learning. How to find your "true north." And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/649/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! Wit

Rob Reid (@Rob_Reid), author of After On: A Novel of Silicon Valley, will be joining us for a full episode tomorrow. But on this Minisode Monday, we share one of his exercises designed to help us cut back on some of the bad habits we have when conversing and relating with others. The Cheat Sheet: Over the next few weeks or months, record ten hours of conversations with people -- acquaintances, strangers, Lyft drivers, whoever -- using something like a voice memos app or Ecamm Call Recorder on Skype. Listen to yourself with a critical ear. It will impart priceless knowledge about how you come across to other people. We all have annoying habits we're wholly unaware of. But we also have budding conversational superpowers that we could nurture if we only knew they were lurking at the surface. Ten hours is a lot. It will make you cringe. It will also help you get rid of filler words, tics, and other unintentional habits for leaner, more powerful conversations. Get out of your comfort zone and get recording! To le

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: When you're a young female moving to a new city, is looking for roommates on Craigslist advisable? Thanks to Jeff McCollister (@the1hatter) for giving us a proper source for The Guy in the Glass poem we talked about last week. It was written in 1934 by Peter "Dale" Wimbrow Sr., who was not a death row inmate -- in spite of what the Internet tries to tell us. Regardless, it's still very powerful. Tipping isn't just good manners -- it's good social dynamics. If you're going to change your dietary habits, make sure it's for the right reasons and not because you were swayed by an AoC Challenge critical-thinking exercise! What's wrong with being sexy? You shouldn't start a podcast unless you don't care if people listen. Documentary of the Week: Icarus Quick shoutouts to Colin and Runa Ludthard and AoC sister Lida in Sweden! Have any qu

Charlamagne Tha God (@cthagod) is a radio presenter (The Breakfast Club Power 105.1 FM), television personality (Uncommon Sense Live), podcaster, and author of Black Privilege: Opportunity Comes to Those Who Create It. "Living scared gives you a sense of purpose!" -Charlamagne Tha God The Cheat Sheet: What transformed Lenard McKelvey into Charlamagne The God? How Charlamagne went from selling crack in a small town to becoming a radio and television personality -- and now author. Why the moment you think you can't transcend your circumstances -- whatever they may be -- is the moment you won't. How Charlamagne reframed his background to become an advantage rather than a hindrance. Why it's important not to live someone else's expectations -- and how to figure out when expectations are actually your own. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/647/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50%