The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

In this episode, AJ and Johnny interview Alex Banayan (@AlexBanayan), author of “The Third Door” about his 7-year journey to interview some of the most successful people in the world. Alex shares detail about his struggles to reach his dream and the personal social barriers he had to break down to get there. Alex also shares advice, wisdom, and tricks of the trade from the people he interviewed, Bill Gates, Tim Ferriss, Larry King, and many more. What To Listen Out For What is the “third door”, and how can you create one in your life? Having a great working relationship with your own fear and weakness can become a powerful tool to stop fighting with your insecurities, and to instead embrace them. In what way can you become more assured of yourself by letting go? As Larry King told Alex, technology has changed but people haven’t. How can you break through the barriers of technology to create a real connection with someone? Where do you see “the flinch” taking over in your life? As Alex can attest to, Tim

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation. The 8 Steps Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet 1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook. *What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation? 2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on. *Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight! 3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding. *How can you show someone your genuine interest

In this episode, AJ and Johnny share stories of how they’ve built connections with others and improved upon them — then explore them from a scientific perspective. In their quest to reach the perfect balance, they talk about how vital opening up the door of introduction is without prying into someone’s life or personal space. AJ and Johnny explain the power of the invite, creating an emotional connection and ultimately helping us all understand the kind of person we’re interested in. As best stated by Dr. Jack Shafer (Ep #712), “The sense of closeness increases if the disclosures are emotional rather than factual.” CHEAT SHEET We live in a time when technology gives us instant satisfaction for almost everything: food, transportation, running errands, dating, keeping track of… well, almost everything! It’s easy to expect connections to be created just as instantaneously. We hit a button and, BAM, a new best friend. But, it rarely happens that way. Why? How come? How does technology change our assumptions a

On today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are speaking with investor, venture capitalist, and author—Oren Klaff. Oren has raised over $2 billion by understanding the prehistoric part of our brain (the “croc-brain”). Tune in to this episode to hear Oren explain how this applies to your social skills and sales pitch, and why what’s required in the boardroom is no different than what’s required in real life. CHEAT SHEET What are the 3 priorities of a “croc brain?” What is confirmatory diligence and how do you build from it? How does the human mind automatically view someone in a less powerful position? How do you find yourself using neuro-financing in your life with your friends and aspirations? When do you find yourself finding value only “in what you’ve paid for”? In what ways do you find yourself seeking rapport before expressing yourself freely? Think of a time when you gave power to others. What was that moment like? Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addres

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime. CHEAT SHEET What is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you? What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability? What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established? What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests? If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that? How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation? Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on ot

“There are no strangers here, only friends you haven’t met yet.” – William Butler Think about it – at one point in time everyone in our lives was a stranger – even our closest friend. Whether we are trying to strike up a conversation at a networking event, meeting someone at a bar, or just talking to your barista, the art of talking to strangers comes alive every day. On today’s episode, we aren’t just discussing how to talk to strangers, but why doing so can improve our lives and increase our happiness. The Cheat Sheet How can we use the F-E-A-R acronym to help define the types of fear fueling our anxieties? 10:47 Fusion 11:11 Expectations 19:26 Avoidance 30:48 Remoteness 34:47 What do Silicon Valley CEOs know about the influence of technology and connection? 13:17 Why is talking to strangers essential to growing our personal and professional networks? 37:46 How does talking to strangers bring out the best in us? 47:00 Could simply saying hello be the most underrated icebreaker? 53:57 “Most p

This episode kicks off The Art of Charm’s series on Breaking the Ice. After learning The Art of the First Impression - it’s time to dig into how to start engaging conversations that genuinely capture the other person’s interest. AJ and Johnny walk us through how to devise a strategic plan to break the ice that we can practice and quiet self-doubt and anxious thoughts. Beyond the social science, you’ll get to hear how AJ broke the ice with his girlfriend Amy, and how Johnny’s father broke the ice with unsuspecting hikers on the trail. Cheat Sheet Break the ice with banter - and no, we don’t mean a corny one liner Learn how to ask a better question Understand the importance of listening - and not just hearing Take away a simple “Conversation Formula” And more! If you find yourself with questions, reach out! Tag us on social media @theartofcharm or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. At the end of the month, we’ll be answering your questions on air with guest Chris Williams. PLEASE SCROLL DO

This week’s Q&A Episode wraps up our series on first impressions, and dive into conversation about style and the art of the first impression with two style experts. LA Based fashion expert and stylist Melissa Chataigne & Real Men Real Style Founder - Antonio Centeno. We also answer YOUR questions on first impressions. CHEAT SHEET How can you create a style that is authentic to reflect your personal brand? How can style increase your confidence? Why is it important to make a powerful first impression online and off? What are some tips and tricks to take the stress out of shopping? PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-qa-the-art-of-style-episode-709 Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here.

On today’s episode The Art of Charm is honored to welcome back Jesse Itzler. His first podcast ever was The Art of Charm - and in today’s episode we catch up with him to learn what he’s added to his “life resumé” since we saw him last. Some of our favorite life highlights include: signing a record deal, co-founding a private jet company, a beverage company, he wrote a New York Times Best Seller and he’s just released his latest book, Living With The Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me About Happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn more about Jesse’s journey, and how first impressions and his unique mindset has enabled his unique successes. The Cheat Sheet What happens when you start to value the journey more than the outcome? How does thinking about mortality help you channel self-confidence? Why is Jesse more concerned about maximizing potential than being happy? How does Jesse deal with negative self-talk? How is your life resumé more valuable than your professional resumé? And s

Whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or trying to elevate ourselves to that next level—body language plays an integral part in our presentation of self. Listen to this episode to learn the importance of body language in our social interactions, and five simple signals you can focus on to improve your first impression. The Cheat Sheet What are the 5 signals of body language that we can control? How does our environment choose our body language without us even knowing? What happens when your body language doesn’t align with your words? How can we actually control our emotions by controlling our body language? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-5-signals-of-body-language-707 Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Re

We’re not sure why people aren’t responding to us. We think we’re good at reading people. On today’s episode, we are discussing how to make the best first impression. Whether you’re a CEO trying to better connect with your employees, an introvert wishing to project a bit more confidence, or maybe you judge people the second you see them coming (ps., they see you too) this conversation will provide insights you can apply to your goal. The Cheat Sheet What are the 4 layers of first impressions? Why is focusing on other people’s body language a fool’s errand? How do we reverse our primal instinct to mirror other people’s behaviors? What was AJ’s first impression of Johnny, and vice versa? Why is our gut based in fear and how do we ignore its voice? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-first-impression-706/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.co

Life is improv. There is no script, no directors, no instruction manual for how to be successful. It’s all improvised. So to be good at life, you have to be good at improv. Erin and Suzanne are professional comedic improvisers here in Los Angeles and coaches at The Art of Charm. Listen to today’s episode to hear how they approach the art of improvisation, ]and how we can inject these principles into our day-to-day lives! The Cheat Sheet: What is improvisational comedy and how does it apply to our lives? Why do perfectionists and control freaks need to embrace the unknown? How do the principles of improvisation translate to your professional and personal lives? Why does improvisational comedy having nothing to do with being funny? And much much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-improv-705/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days fre

Our perception of reality is dependent on our thoughts. So if our thoughts are infected, then our lives will be too. That’s why on today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are discussing the 10 most common “cognitive distortions”; those irrational and often untrue thoughts that heavily influence our beliefs, decision-making and happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the defense you can implement to avoid your mind’s tricks. The Cheat Sheet How do cognitive distortions wall you off from discomfort? Why does black-and-white thinking leave no room for growth? What is magnification and why does it blind us? When should we realize we’re shining the spotlight too much on ourselves? And much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-cognitive-distortions-704/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the stand

We all have goals and aspirations, but how many of us take the time to share and vocalize those goals or support our friends as they try to achieve their goals? On today’s episode, we are discussing the importance of accountability. We, at The Art of Charm, often call accountability the “cheat code to self-development.” When you start to integrate others into your personal journey, the social pressure hacks your motivation centers, sending you on the fast track to achieving your goals. The Cheat Sheet: What are the 3 rungs of accountability? How does accountability reinforce ownership of a goal? What are ‘accountabilibuddies’ and how do we choose them? How does tracking your goals foster momentum? Are there good and bad goals to set? What is a S.M.A.R.T. goal? And much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-power-of-accountability-episode-703 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can g

On last week’s episode, we dove deep into life’s most brutal truths. This week, we are continuing the conversation with Part 2, where we examine more of the complicated truths we run away from. Here is what we cover: The Cheat Sheet: How does emotional reactivity set you up for failure? What is value and how does it relate to time and relationships? Why is the hamster wheel of achievement a flawed model for happiness? What are people’s most common deathbed regrets? How does celebrating the small wins help you achieve the big victories? And so much more.... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-brutal-truths-part-2-episode-702 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challen

We all want attention, approval, and acceptance. But we can’t expect others to give us that if we don’t approve of ourselves. Most often, the reason we struggle with self-acceptance is because we are running away from the brutal truths of life. In today’s episode of The Art of Charm, we run the other way, towards those these uncomfortable facts, to unpack and examine them. From understanding that nobody actually cares about you to accepting the finality of death, this episode leaves no room for the fearful. Here are some of the questions we explore. The Cheat Sheet: What are the some of the brutal truths of life that we don’t want to think about? How does accepting the finality of death make you feel more free? Why do men run away from their emotions instead of embracing them? How does technology corrupt our ability to enjoy intimacy? How is the term ‘adulting’ just a cover-up for your aversion to responsibility? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-po

Are you a perfectionist? Or, are you just using that term to justify inaction? Tune into this episode of The Art of Charm to learn what’s at the root of perfectionism, and why we use a myth to cover up our fear of failure. The Cheat Sheet: What is the definition of perfectionism and why is that a bad thing? How is procrastination the opposite of perfectionism? What happens when you wear perfectionism as a badge of honor? How do our smartphones and other technologies reward perfectionism? How does viewing failure as exciting and not something to be afraid of cure perfectionism? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-the-…sm-episode-700-2/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps

Last week we learned all about AoC co-host Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak). This week, we’re turning the spotlight around to hear the life story of AJ. How did he go from science wiz to football player? And then from cancer biologist to Art of Charm co-founder? Tune in to this episode to hear the story behind your co-host’s unique trajectory. The Cheat Sheet: Who is AJ Harbinger? How did navigating difficult family dynamics shape AJ’s emotional fingerprint? What did facing rejection from girls teach AJ about confronting fear? What does a PhD student do when something else is calling? How was The Art of Charm formed? And so much more… Full show notes at  https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-johnny-interviews-aj-episode-699 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers

Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak) grew up in Greensburg, PA, honed his musical chops in Chapel Hill, NC, and now runs The Art of Charm in Los Angeles, CA with AJ. But how did he get from there to here? Listen while Johnny shares his story. The Cheat Sheet: Who is Johnny Dzubak? What is The Rust Belt Scowl? What did musical aspirations teach Johnny about social dynamics? How did Johnny and AJ meet and really become friends? Does Johnny consider himself an introvert or an extrovert? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-aj-interviews-johnny-episode-698/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no cred

There's a fine line between pushy and pushover. In this toolbox episode, we learn 10 ways to maintain resolve and stay high value in personal and professional conflict situations. "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." -John F. Kennedy The Cheat Sheet: Avoiding conflict only delays its resolution. High value conflict resolution seeks a win/win. Discover the three criteria for effective negotiation. Learn 10 ways to maintain high value in conflict resolution. Know the difference between lens and empathy. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-high-value-conflict-resolution-episode-697/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with ru